Star Maniac

4

I have a freaking month left before the interview. I'm out of ideas. What songs should I wrote? Something nice or something soft? I sighed. Should I asked for help? From Cora or Victoria or maybe from Trisha? I don't know. But I want to make a surprise. I want everyone to gulp when I told them I got my place at ABMS. I wandering around my room. I looked at the table. It's a mess. Pile of papers can be seen everywhere. I sighed for the hundred times I guess. I don't know how many times have I been sighed.

Why can't I be like back then? My brain works so well that I could wrote so many songs in one day but now? It feels like my brain is going on some vacation and refuse to work again. I took a deep breath. I took a piece of paper. The latest one that I wrote earlier. I read the lyrics. It doesn't sounds good and doesn't give any inspiration to people who hear it. I put it back on the table. I don't know what to do. I've waste so many times and clock is ticking. Can I at least pause the time and continue it back after I've got the best lyrics? I asked the same question over and over again.

Then suddenly I remember something. I get up from my seat and rushed downstairs. I opened a door that leads me to basement. I switch on the lights. I walked downstairs. I took my torchlight with me. Just in case it was way to dark, then only I'll use the torchlight. I was searching for something precious. Then my eyes caught at a pile of boxes. I wonder if the things I've been searching were among them. I read all the labels carefully. I don't want to waste my time doing it all over again. Box by box I put away so I can read more labels on the boxes.

Then I smiled. I've found it. I'm pretty sure it has more than one box as I remembered the last time I put it here. I search for another one. A few minutes later, I smiled. I've found the boxes. I took the first box upstairs then get downstairs to get the second box. After both boxes are already out from the basement, I switch off the lights and closed the door.

Mom noticed what I was so doing. She looked at me. "What are doing with those boxes? I thought you promise to yourself not to look at those boxes anymore?"

I looked at her. "Something. Forget my promise. I need to hear all these. I might be very busy these few days so I don't want to be disturb. You can go anywhere without me. Told dad and Drake the same thing," I took the first box upstairs into my room. Then I took the second box. I closed the door. I smiled. I can't wait to open it. It has been a year since I left it at the basement.

I took a small knife and cut the duck tape on top of the box. Then I opened it. Full with Space Note's stuff. Stuff like, album, song notes, pictures, magazine that we've been featured and many more inside this two boxes. I took out the album. All of them. All I could say is, there is more than 10 album. We're really active back then. Urgh. I really miss it when we go for recording our new songs. The scent of the studio, the peoples, everything. I miss everything. Every single fucking things related to Space Note.

I took the first album. The album that actually make us star. Most of the songs was been written by me. I am the songs writer. Sometimes Trisha and Cora help along. There's only one song that Victoria wrote. All by herself. That song was a truly hit back then. It stays on top of the list long enough to make every agency want to take us to work with them.

I switch on my laptop. Then I insert the first album's CD. I've already worn the headphone. Ready to hear it. I need some inspiration.

It took me almost 5 days staraight to finished hearing all the album. And still didn't get any fucking ideas.

"What actually are you doing?" Drake asked me and he sat on my bed.

"I'm busy. Get out," I didn't even turned my face to look at him.

"Come on. Tell me. Maybe I could help," he grinned even though he knew I can't see it.

I looked at him. Then back to my laptop screen. I'm tired. I don't even sleep for the past 5 days hearing all the songs. Yeah, it is sounds crazy but I have too.