It's Time

Letter 3: Your Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

Our relationship together used to be so bad. I used to hate you two for fighting all the time. Whenever I was doing my homework at home in peace all of a sudden I would hear one of you two shouting at the other. I know you think I never heard you, but I did. And it would result in me becoming scared. I was so so scared.

I thought you two were going to divorce and I didn't want that. I didn't want to think of which parent I was going to be celebrating Christmas with, or whom I'd be spending my summer breaks with. So once the shouting started, I would take my books and sneak out to the library. I used to be such a regular there that I had my own table at the library. But neither of you knew that because you were so self absorbed. You only focused on your problem together and not me. You neglected me and left me to fend for myself for two years. That's how long you were fighting.

You would put an act once we were in front of anyone but I knew what was really going on. Sometimes, no all the time, I felt like screaming it out. I felt like ratting you out. I so badly wanted to say that it was all a lie. That you were just acting to be a happy family.

But then over the summer you shipped Harry and I off to live with Aunt Rachel. To this day I still don't know what happened over that summer because the second Harry and I returned, you were a happy couple. You had everything sorted out and you never fought again.

I know I look like I'm ok with everything and I sort of am. But I still resent you for ruining the peace and happiness I should have had at home.

Now, we are fine. However sometimes I feel like giving you a lecture of how to behave when you are at home. I know this is suspicious of me but I wonder if you are still acting not only outside of the house but inside too. If you are then you are doing a fantastic job at that.

Mom, you try to get me to talk about my life, my friends, any boys I might like, but I no longer trust you. I may tell you the outline, but never the details.

I've always wanted a mother who cared about me. One who would halo me with homework, and go shopping with me, and be more like a best friend than a parent. You never gave me that. The closest thing I have to a mother like that is Emily's mom. She, Emily and I always do things together when we need advice from an adult.

Dad, you never were the overprotective dad who cared about how revealing his daughter's clothes were, or about any boys I previously dated. You never came to any of my art gallery shows to see what I had painted before. You were never there for me in a similar yet different way to how Mom is. I don't know why, but usually there is at least a favourite child in the family, and Harry could have been that, but he isn't. You treat us both the same, never being there for us. 

In a way, the only family that's there for me is Harry and vice versa. The way you treat us has left us to stick together. Although that is a good thing that I have a great relationship with him, I don't want that to be at the cost of my parents who were supposed to put Harry and my needs before anything else.

So Mom, Dad, I hope that even though you will never see this letter, you will try and change for the better and support Harry and I because at this moment right now, I really need you to help me cope with Emily's death. 

Love,

Jennifer.