Starting Over •JJK• ✔️

Five

Morning came with the sun blaring through the window and shooting a bright beam of light right across my face. I groaned as I rolled onto my opposite side, cursing myself for not closing the curtains before crawling into bed.

Then it all came flooding back. Dinner. Him making me more comfortable on the couch while I slept. His hand on my knee. His fingers in my hair. The little yellow flower.

Him sleeping in my bed.

Thinking back, it never even occurred to me to offer him my spare bedroom. Some of the other members have used it many times and there was never any question about them crashing in there. Then again, JK never suggested that he spend last night in there, either.

I blinked my eyes open and looked over to where JK would be sleeping. That side of the bed was empty. My heart sank for a moment until I heard him. It was rare for him to not be singing or humming to himself, regardless of what he was doing, so you could always tell if he was close by. I lifted my head just enough to look through my bedroom door and down the hallway, which gave me a straight shot view of the kitchen.

He had his elbows resting on the counter, facing me but with his head down, probably scrolling through his phone. His hair was messy and he kept pushing a hand through it to try and flatten it, but it just kept falling back down around his eyes. The bright sun lit up the entire kitchen with the rays falling along the side of his face, really accentuating the natural golden tones of his skin...

I shook my head and quickly sat up, getting my first whiff of coffee. And it smelled heavenly. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and moved to go do my usual morning bathroom routine. I washed my face and threw a bra on when I realized just how thin this t-shirt was. No need to make things super awkward.

I grabbed my phone and saw that Joon had messaged me, asking if I wanted to grab a beer with him later. The invitation got me excited. I hadn't hung out with Joon in quite awhile. I messaged him back as I walked down the hallway towards the scent of coffee.

"Good morning."

I looked up when he spoke. His voice was still a little low and raspy, signaling that he hadn't been awake much longer than I was. I stepped up to the counter, standing across from him. "Good morning." I smiled as he handed me a steaming cup of fresh coffee. I immediately took a sip and closed my eyes for a split second at how delicious it was. "Mmm, thank you for this." I hopped up onto a barstool and set my mug down. "Did you sleep well?"

"Hell yeah, I did." JK poured himself a cup and moved around the counter to sit on the stool next to me. "Your bed is fucking comfortable. Now I know why you never get up until the last possible minute."

I chuckled as I rubbed the last bit of sleep from my eyes. "It's a daily struggle." I took another sip and reached up to pull at a bit of JK's hair that refused to cooperate.

"It's a lost cause. Only a shower can save it." His eyes were still a little tired but his smile was as bright as always. He seemed to look over my entire face, and after a few moments, he looked at his phone to check the time. "I really should head up there and start getting myself ready. We have rehearsals in a few hours."

I nodded in agreement, thinking about all that I had to do for the day. "Yeah, I should go let Tannie out to do his thing."

JK spun around and got up to find his sneakers. I finished my coffee and got up, walking with him to the door. He enveloped me in a tight hug and pressed a lingering kiss on the top of my head. I closed my eyes and gave his waist a squeeze, unable to stop my hand from moving up to lightly rub his back. He looked down at me when he pulled away. "Will I see you later?"

I nodded and opened the door. "I'll be up to drop Tannie off. Then Joon wants to go get a beer. Let me know when you guys are home."

JK stepped out into the hallway. "I'll call you later."

I gave him a smile and a small wave and closed the door as he started walking away. I pressed my back against it with a sigh. I rubbed my face and went into the kitchen to put our empty mugs into the sink.

I had so many thoughts and emotions running through me. Where was this all coming from? Why the sudden shift? Was it just me? Was I over analyzing things?

Was I going crazy?

I promised myself that I wouldn't do this again. I promised that I would just focus on my work and my career and being my own best self. Not getting attached meant not getting hurt, and I refused to ever feel that kind of pain ever again.

I went over to the little flower in the window. "It was just a thank you gift. That's it." I muttered the words to myself, trying to make myself believe them. But something told me that it was more than a thank you no matter how hard I tried to fight it off.

I grabbed my phone and took a picture of it. I obviously knew that it would die in another day or two, so this was my only way of keeping it alive.