Make Love To You

7

Lyndon's PoV

I can't even look at her walking away. I look like a fcking mess but I don't care. I'm just looking down. I'd want to go after her pero alam kong kailangan niya to.

I tried calming myself before standing up, I just stared at the airplane that just left.

"Hihintayin kita Asha. Hihintayin kita"

After losing sight of the plane naglakad na ko palayo. Hindi ko rin nagawang pigilan si Asha. Umalis pa rin siya.

I miss her already but I deserve this. She's been hurt because of me and she needs time for herself.

2 months later...

Lyndon's PoV

Dad told me to go out for a while. Magpaaraw naman daw ako. For the past two months wala akong ginawa kundi ang magstay sa kwarto ko.

I just stayed there, watching our videos together, looking at our photos together, syncing to my head how I've hurt her.

I didn't even make her feel the love she deserves that night. I'm such an asshole I think I deserve to die.

Dalawang buwan. Dalawang buwan pa lang pero para na kong binibitay.

Pinili ko na lang pumunta sa parke na madalas naming puntahan ni Asha. I stayed there the whole day doing nothing. Hindi ko namamalayan ang gutom ko when it comes to thinking about her. Mababaliw na ko but I'm stopping myself to go after her because it's her decision, sana lang may hinihintay pa ko.

I just laid down on the grass and looked up at the sky. Hindi ko namalayan umiiyak na naman pala ako.

"Asha..." sabi ko and covered my eyes to hide my tears.

Asha's PoV

Nakamasid lang ako kay Lyndon mula sa malayo. I chose to reply on all his texts pero mukhang wala siyang dalang phone ngayon.

Totoo yung sinagot ko sa kanya. I... never left. Just by seeing him remember me that day, stopped me from leaving. Nakasakay na ko noon sa eroplano pero bago pa umandar to tumayo na ko at lumabas. Pero pagbalik ko nakita ko na yung lugmok na pigura ni Lyndon habang naglalakad palabas ng airport.

I didn't tell him, nor his parents. I chose to live my life away from them, at least. Pero sa mga messages ni Lyndon saken araw araw sa loob ng dalawang buwan, gustong gusto ko na siyang puntahan pero alam ko din sa sarili ko na hindi pa. Hindi pa yun yung tamang panahon. Isang buwan pagkatapos nun pumunta ako palihim sa kanila, only to see him devastated. Mas pumayat. Tulala. After that, halos araw araw ko na siyang lihim na sinusundan.

Ewan ko bakit ko yun ginagawa when in fact ako yung gustong lumayo. Mahal ko lang ata talaga siya masyado.

And now... seeing him cry himself again like he did the past days. Breaks my heart. Ayoko na tama na to. Handa na siguro ako. Handa na ulit ako.

I've been through so much. I am very much aware of that. Pero dahil na rin siguro sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko na yun, na mas lalo lang ako tumatag bilang tao. That even if he broke me into a million pieces, I'd still be here around him. Kahit gano pa kadurog, mananatili pa rin sa tabi niya kahit anong mangyare. Hindi ako mawawala sa tabi niya at hinding hindi rin siguro ako bibitaw.

I sighed before gathering all the courage I can get bago umalis sa pinagtataguan ko at umupo sa tabi niya.

I don't even know if he felt my presence but I spoke up

"Bakit mo ba pinapabayaan ang sarili mo?"