Will I Survive?

CHAPTER 4

I decided that since there where too many people outside I could take this as a perfect opportunity to go inside and explore. When I went in I was awe struck that the beauty of the mansion. As soon as you enter from the backyard you enter a living room which could fill up to 30 people. There were gray couches in the room. A huge TV with a mini bar. There were bean bags as well. Even the walls were painted gray. I could tell this was Vernon's mansion because of the gray colour. There were shelves with pictures and trophies and other small decorations on them. I didn't take a long time to admire just one room because I know I had many more to see.
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It had been nearly an hour and a half and I had explored a good amount of the mansion. Now I was just standing on a balcony which was on the opposite side from the backyard, just taking in the view and talking to my nine year old brother who I had to send away from my parents to my aunt. I had to work multiple jobs just so I could enough money to send my aunt money for my brother monthly. I would even buy some toys for him and send them with the money for him. He would always video call me when he got his toys and just seeing the biggest smile on his face made everything worth so much.

"I got married today." I told him.

"Really?! Is he nice? Do you like him? Do I have to meet him and decide if I can fight him? Does he love you? Do you love him? Does he make you happy?" He continued firing questions at me.

"Our marriage is arranged Adam. I might have you meet him someday and then you can answer your questions for yourself. Enough about me. How is my baby brother doing?" I asked him.

"I'm not a baby anymore Lav. I'm nine and I am doing fine. I love playing with the toys you send me but next time can you send me a panda. Please Lav please." He asked me.

"You will always be my baby brother and I will see if I can send you a panda but if you want me to send you one you have to try to make friends in school. I will ask Auntie about you making friends. You need to be more open Adam. There are some fellow students of yours who want to be your friends but you just turn them down. Don't do that Adam okay? You do't have to just go up to someone and ask to be friends. You start by telling your name, tell them which toy or movie you like." I told him knowing he has problems interacting because he is a really shy boy like me so, me telling him to make friends is hypocritical of me since I avoid interactions as well. But that's just it. I don't want him to be like me. A let-down, shy person.

"Okay Lav but if I do you have to send me that panda. Promise?" He sure does want that panda.

"Okay Adam I promise you will get it. But you also have to promise me you will try to mak-" I stop talking when I hear someone coming in the balcony and stand next to me. I look next to me and see that it's Vernon. My heart started beating really fast. I don't even now why. I just hope he sees me talking to someone on the phone and eaves me alone.

"I promise. I have to go Lav. It's almost bedtime for me. I love you big sissy." He told me.

Seems like luck or fate or whatever you want to call it, doesn't want to side with me today. Not that it has sided with me ever.

"I love you too Adam. Bye and goodnight." I told him and end the call. As soon as I end the call Vernon started questioning me.

"Who's Adam?" He asked me.

"He is my baby brother." I told him. After that we just stand in silence. I wanted to ask him something, something that had been bugging me since the ceremony.

" Can I ask you something?" I ask him. He doesn't say anything so I continued. 

"Why did you agree to this marriage?" I blurt it out. For some reason I felt like I really needed to know his answer, to know where this marriage was going to go.

"My father-" he spat "made be do it. He said, if I wanted this business, since my sister can't inherit it, I had to be married because apparently with all the wealth your father has he could be a strong asset in my business." He said. To be completely honest his answer hurt. Probably because I believed all the promises my parents based this marriage on.

"What about you? Why did you agree?" He asked me. And I gave an honest answer. 

"I was made promises." I chuckled bitterly to myself. "Promises of the love and protection and attention I would get. I guess I knew they were lies but I was desperate for those things and naive, so I made myself believe they were true." I told him, remembering the promises I was made for this marriage. I know it was stupid of me to make myself believe that I would get any of those things but I was really desperate for love, protection and attention. For the feeling of being loved, being wanted.

Vernon's laughter brought me out of my thoughts "You really are naive and desperate aren't you? You won't get anything like that here." All of a sudden her took be by elbow and trapped me in between him the the railing of the balcony.

"Listen to me Lavender and listen good. These "things" that you are deserate for, well get over them because I can assure you such kind of treatment isn't for people in the mafia or associated with the mafia."

His words were like another slap to reality, because I knew he was right. Being in the mafia requires you to become cold, ruthless and heartless and the "things" I want can't be given to me since I'm married to a mafia.

After saying what he wanted to, he left me standing there on the balcony wondering what am I going to do witj my life.

"Oh and Lavender" I hear Vernon's voice from behind me "My parents are hosting a party tomorrow with even more important mafia men. It's a formal so buy a dress for yourself and don't expect me to give you my credit card." I hear him say in a voice full of hatred and distaste as if even talking to me burns him.

"Okay." I quietly whisper, not having enough energy to even think about anything right now or talk.