DRAW (DISCONTINUED)

+-Why Did You Held Your Pencil?-+

I woke up. In messines... Great. I didn't really like being messy at all... I couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night... Why did I do that? Why though? I felt confused...
I felt hopeless about this. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I looked at my pencil. I glared at it. It looked like the pencil I used as a weapon... It's sharp end... I started to tremble. While glaring at the sharp pencil.
Thinking of what have I done. They were humans too. Humans like me. I killed my own kind... I felt like I have killed myself... My whole family... I wished I should've been patient I wish i did something better than that. I wish I let them realize first.

I wish I didn't do that.
I wish I didn't do any of those.
But past is the past and you can't bring nor change it again.
I sighed, stopped glaring at my pencil and go to my computer. I saw my username in the computer, "Lyra Lied". I typed the password "FOX". I go write on my notepad. Since I couldn't do anything.

'I have been watched by a monster, all day long... I have felt like the demon has been haunting me since birth. I also start to have nightmares. I wanna sleep. I need sleep. But it's impossible to sleep. I started to cry alot. Thinking about what have I done. Tears rolling down my cheeks, letting out my screaming and sobbing like a little child. Grabbing my head and slowly running my fingers while forming a fist down my hair. I started to let everything out. But it wasn't enough. It was still there... I cried for hours and hours. And it still there. This feeling... This pain... I couldn't understand it. The demon is slowly hurting me... Slowly killing me. Won't leave me until it takes my own life. I cried alot. Slowly forming a puddle in the ground. Kicking the air. I cried and cried. That's all I can do. It keeps on talking about my past actions. It was bad. It was harsh. It's slowly getting worse with that demon. I can't sleep. I don't even want to wake up so I can't feel this pain anymore. I want to go to the dream world where I'm safe. I'm fine. But my mind misleads me. And I have nothing else to than cry. And cry. And cry. I felt like I was an little baby that is being abused by my own parents. I cried for hours. I cried for days just to make myself sleep. I started acting weird. I started acting alot weird. I felt like I was a crazy person that couldn't control themself. I couldn't control my body nor feelings. This. This is a nightmare. A nightmare that I'll never ever wake up. Not even the future. I won't be able to wake up in here and see the bright side. I wanna be out of this hell. I wanna escape from all of this. I wanna escape from this living nightmare. The demon won't stop following me. Hurt me. Watching me suffer in guilt and shame. Telling me that I shouldn't have done that. I knew I shouldn't have. I wasn't that patient enough. I was never. And I wanted to cry again and again till it ends. And I know it'll happen again. But atleast I could rest only for once...'

I finished typing. I saved it. I knew what to do next. I looked at my pencil.

I grabbed my paper.
And held my pencil.
But I couldn't move...

...
Why did you try to draw...?

Ew wtf 💀