In Every Heartbeat

6 (Final)

Junhoe trudged heavily towards the bedroom, wanting to be sure that nothing was left behind. He walked into the room, standing in the middle of the empty space he had once loved Jiwon with all his old heart could take. The tears that had culminated in his eyes now falling freely as he closed them, diving deep into the painful memories from three years ago when Jiwon made the decision that changed all their lives.

He placed his hand against his chest, feeling the throb of his new heart; Jiwon's heartm. The heart he had given up for Junhoe in the ultimate sacrifice of love. No one, not even Chanwoo had been aware of the plans Jiwon had set in motion when he realised that Junhoe was dying. He had said many times to himself, if not to others, that he could not imagine a world without Junhoe.

No one had anticipated that he was willing to sacrifice his own existence in the world to ensure Junhoe continued living in it. No one, not even Junhoe himself.

Without Chanwoo's knowledge he had applied for assisted suicide, drawing up his own paperwork and arranging for the process to be done with utmost confidentiality. When it was approved, he had drawn up a will bequeathing his heart to be donated to one Koo Junhoe. He had arranged for all this within the time frame of three months. Then, he planned their last holiday in Europe.

The doctors had cleared Junhoe for travel despite his weakened condition and Jiwon had brought him to Norway, where they had spent the night lying in each other's arms in a translucent igloo, witnessing the Aurora Borealis as she made her shimmering and ethereal journey across the whitewashed sky.

"Promise me something." Jiwon whispered as Junhoe laid against his chest.

"What?" Junhoe had asked, in awe of the spectacular nature's light show that was being played above them.

"If I'm no longer around someday, look after yourself, be happy and live life with that same positive spirit you have when I first met you." He intoned.

"Ya~shouldn't I be saying this to you?" Junhoe said weakly, breathing heavily against the cold. Jiwon hugged him tighter, adjusting the heavy blankets and jackets to keep themselves warm.

"Just promise me, please." Jiwon insisted. Junhoe's gaze broke away from the Northern Lights long enough to glance up at Jiwon.

"I will if you promise me the same thing when I am no longer around too." He countered, suddenly disturbed by the faraway look in Jiwon's eyes. "Jiwon?" Junhoe nudged him gently on the rib. Jiwon gazed down at him lovingly.

"Just promise me, love. Promise me." Jiwon repeated, planting light, airy kisses onto Junhoe's face. The cheekbones had shrunk and that muscular body had whittled down to a bony frame.

"Arasseo, arasseo. I promise." Junhoe had laughed that wonderful laugh Jiwon had committed to memory. He shut his eyes, thankful for this piece of heaven on earth, of lying here in the arms of the man he loves under a sky filled with the amazing wonders of nature. He could not have asked for more on his last night here on earth.

The next day, they had taken a drive down to Switzerland. Jiwon left Junhoe sleeping at the hotel room, requesting that the driver bring him to the facility which was about an hours' drive away. He had left a handwritten letter by the bedside bureau for Junhoe. In his last hour, he had made a call to Chanwoo, requesting that he come to Switzerland to be with Junhoe and to collect his body. Chanwoo, who had been sleeping when the call came in could only listen in disbelief as his old friend told him the truth.

"Junhoe?" Chanwoo called him from the entrance of the bedroom. "Car's here." He stated. Junhoe turned, wiping his tears hurriedly. "Ah~you are crying again." Chanwoo teased him, striding in and standing before Junhoe, helping to wipe his tears.

"I still cannot believe that I am leaving this place." Junhoe exhaled. He had refused to have the surgery done. There was no way he could have taken the heart of the man he love so shamelessly, not after the sacrifice he had made.

For weeks after returning from Switzerland with Jiwon's body, he had locked himself in the bedroom waiting, wanting to die. Chanwoo had stood outside, trying to talk to him. At long last, he slipped the letter Jiwon had wrote and left behind for Junhoe under the door. The one Junhoe had refused to read. When he finally opened it to read the contents, Junhoe was surprised that he still had tears to spare after the many days of shedding so much. Jiwon had anticipated his refusal, of course.

Love,

If you are reading this, then it means I am no longer of this world

This is my last gift to you, treasure it, the way you treasured me

Live it, the way you taught me to live

Breathe it the way you always have, with the happiness of your love for me

Let it beat in your chest proudly, as if you are beating it for me.

Jiwon.

The procedure had lasted seventy-two hours. Junhoe's recovery had amazed the doctors. Within six months, he had climbed Mount Everest and participating in triathlons. No one knew how he fell asleep each night crying to the rhythm of his new heart. Everything he did was with Jiwon's grace and even though he started developing feelings for Chanwoo three years after Jiwon left him, his memories with Jiwon remained ever fresh because in some ways, it felt as if he never left. Some days, it felt as if Jiwon was right there with him, in every heartbeat.

END