kylo ren crack fic

Chapter 1

WARNING: Mentions of gore. If you get grossed out or squeamish easily, don't read the first half. Skip to the end or skip this chapter entirely, your choice. You have been warned.

You safely take off your gloves and remove your mask. "I'll take him to the recovery unit on the 4th floor." The group of surgeons nod. "Thanks for your help everyone, this was a very success surgery." You nod and the head surgeon looks at the unconscious patient. "Good job bro, you lived." He smacked his head into the wall  and you wheeled him out of the surgery room. You wheel the patient, or victim, into a janitors closet, making sure no other doctors see you. You grabbed a pocket knife from your jacket and sliced open the fresh wound which was sealed closed by thin metal stitches. You dug into his chest and absorbed his heart. The heart monitor flatlined and you smirked. "Time of death, 11:38 pm." You cleaned up and stitched up the wound again. You cover the body and leave the janitors closet, heading to the waiting room to inform the family of their loss. "I'm sorry, but he did not make it." They started crying and you left awkwardly, lurking for your next victim of the night.

You go into the surgery room and wheel out the next victim, a 16473828 year old man. Before you could do anything, he eats your pocket knife, along with your hand. He handcuffs you to the bed so you can't go anywhere, arresting you. You try to escape, but he eats the building and everyone dies except you. You wake up in a jail cell, covered in goo. A man stares at you from the corner, hissing. He appears to be a raccoon furry. You roll yours eyes and clean the goo off. A block of cement is loose from the wall. You decide to kill the furry and shove the dead body down the toilet. You pick up the cement block and launch it at the raccoon, killing it. You shove the body down the toilet. "Beep boop bo, begone hoe." You cast a spell, causing the body to shrink and disappear down the weak sewage system. A officer walks by and sits again the metal bars of your jail cell. You vibe for a second and approach the officer, attempting to steal his keys and weapon. He vibe checks you! You successfully bite his arm off and steal his stuff before running down the hall and to the nearest exit. The other prisoners cheer you on during your escape. Your huge nostrils are filled with organic oxygen as you exit the prison. You decide to go on foot to complete your escape, not wanting to get in trouble for stealing a cop car. Suddenly, a car hits you out of nowhere! You are knocked unconscious. A helicopter with arms picks you up and throws you at the nearest hospital, launching you at the window. You break the window, waking up. You look at the bed, who could it be?! You gasp.