Traitor With A Heart DISCONTINUED

Refuge in Trost

I sat right beside Armin, his head resting on my lap as he slept soundly. I ran my fingers through his hair to ensure he stayed calm. So much has happened within the last 24 hours. First Shiganshina was breached by the colossal titan, but then word had reached Trost that a supposed "Armored Titan" had broken through the gate of Wall Maria. That meant that humanity was pushed back; we lost territory and were now endangered. If Wall Maria was breached, who's to say that Wall Rose won't be breached? All hell would really break loose.

Armin and I had lost Mikasa and Eren when they chose to get their mom and when I chose to run with Armin. I started to doubt if that was the smartest choice. If I had gone with Mikasa and Eren, Armin would be by himself, scared, lost, and alone. If I had gone with Armin (which I did), I would have to trust that my mom and my friends were okay. However, I still feel guilty. What if they weren't okay? What if they didn't make it? What if my mom didn't make it? What if she was brutally murdered by a titan?

I feel tears well up in my [E/C] eyes. I hate the fact that I had to make this choice. Between my mom and friends and Armin. But, my decision was made. Now I must live with the consequences. The tears stream down my face as I think of My mom, Mikasa, Eren, and Carla. Where were they? Were they okay? I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't stop thinking of their fates.

I stopped running my fingers through Armin's hair so I can wipe my face. I miserably attempt to choke back my sobs so that I don't wake up Armin. But my efforts were useless as Armin sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. He looked over at me, concern evident in his eyes as he schooched closer to me, wiping my tears. He spoke softly, as to not scare me, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"What- What if M-Mikasa-," I sniffled, "Eren, and and my mom and Carla didn- didn't make it?" I could control the horrendous sobs that left my mouth. I hiccuped and wiped my nose. I probably looked like a complete and total mess. Armin held me tightly in his arms as he pet my hair and rubbed my back.

Eventually, my sobs died down to light whimpering. Armin pulled away from our embrace, leaving me cold and alone as I stared at his brilliant blue eyes. He smiled softly as he gripped my hand firmly. "I am sure they are fine. Mikasa would never let anything happen to them and Eren is too stubborn to die," he laughed nervously as he attempted to convince both of us. "Why don't we go get some rations in the courtyard? We can look for everyone then," Armin suggested as he stood up, pulling me up to my feet. I nod, throat still raw from crying.

We walked, hand in hand, to the courtyard, where a mass of people were gathered to collect food. There were long lines and smaller crowds. Some people were trying to get others to share, while others greedily ate all of their rations. Armin kept a look out for anyone he recognized, and eventually his eyes landed on a familiar face. "Grandpa!" Armin ran over to the older man and hugged him tightly, leaving you to trail behind him. "I'm so glad you're okay! I thought I lost you!"

The older man chuckled, "I'm not kicking the bucket just yet." He let go of Armin and fixed his hat, "I found your other friends. Eren and Mikasa," he points towards a building before continuing, "You two stay with me so we can get our rations, Then you can take them their food."

"Did you see anyone else with them, Grandpa?" Armin wore a worried look as he pressed for answers.

His grandfather shook his head, "Not that I saw. I didn't see Grisha, Carla, or [M/n]." A terrible feeling began to grow in the pit of your stomach. No adults? That means that they didn't make it, or they were still missing.

"I'll go check on them...Don't get me any rations, I'm not hungry," I softly informed them as I ran off in the direction Armin's grandfather pointed at. I wedged my way through people, pushing and dodging my way to a barn entrance. I gently slid the door open so as to not startle them.