two doors down | k.th + j.jk

chapter fourteen

tacenda (n.) - things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence.

a couple of hours passed after the incident and night had fallen. I hadn't said anything to jimin or namjoon yet,even though jimin had stayed there in my bedroom with me,nursing my bruised knuckles. the details of the past couple of hours were still sort of blurry.

all I knew by then was that yoongi was taken to the hospital by uncle min,dad and namjoon. even mom hadn't come upstairs to see how I was just yet. jimin had been questioning me but gave up after an hour and resorted to sitting with me in silence.

at around 9pm that night,I heard gentle knocking on my door and saw namjoon walk in. he was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as he entered and sighed before asking,"what the hell happened in the yard,jungkook?"

"I punched yoongi."

"yeah,I worked that out for myself,surprisingly. why did you do it?"

"he called me that word," I breathed after a bout of hesitation.

namjoon stopped in his tracks and shared a look with jimin. jimin shrugged.

"what word?"

I finally looked up at him and our eyes locked.

"you know what word."

he sighed and sat down next to me.

"is there a reason he used it?"

I swallowed. questions ran through my mind as I stared up into his face. should I tell him? he deserves to know. but was I ready? what if he didn't react the way I was expecting him to? what if-

"jungkook? what's the reason?," jimin's voice cut into my thoughts.

I looked up at namjoon and felt my heart pounding against my chest. 

"joon-hyung," I started,and his eyes filled with trepidation.

"what is it? you're scaring me jungkook," he whispered and I took another deep breath.

"I'm gay."

the very air grew still. I remember how he looked at me for a second before his eyes softened and he wrapped his arms around me. that tiny gesture had me sobbing into his shoulder,crying my eyes out as he held me.

jimin joined in on the hug after a while,struggling to wrap his tiny arms around both of us. we were upstairs for what seemed like centuries,laughing and talking as if I hadn't punched our cousin a few hours ago.

it was only when we heard yelling from downstairs that namjoon,jimin and I headed out. we stopped at the top of the staircase and heard dad's booming voice.

"yeah! leave and never come back. take that demon you call a son with you,too!," we heard dad say and clapped hands to our mouths. dad was usually very respectful toward uncle min because of the age difference and how much they loved each other.

"put your kid on a leash next time!," we heard uncle min yell back.

"put a muzzle on yours!"

namjoon and I stayed at the top of the stairs until we heard the front door slam. we went downstairs a few moments later,dragging jimin with us because he was basically part of the family already,to see mom and dad sitting on the couch,dad with his head in his hands. we approached them cautiously.

"dad?"

he looked up and grabbed my arm. I winced,expecting a slap or something of the kind but stopped dead when I saw him inspecting the bruises on my knuckles. he let go after a while and sighed.

"sit here," he said,patting the seats beside him.

namjoon and I sat down,jimin beside me,and he wrapped his arms around us. and for the rest of that fateful night,we sat together as a family and cried and hugged and just stayed with each other. I remember pulling away from them at one point in the night and smiling at all of our heads pressed together.

and for a moment I considered telling all. the stories of the boy who bought me ice cream and jimin and everything nearly tumbled out of me. but I knew I couldn't put any more on mom and dad's shoulders. not today.

that was the night I learned that family isn't determined by DNA or genetics. it's determined by the love. and the care. and being there for each other when it's most needed. my mind wandered only once that night.

I was here,holding the people I loved in the middle of the night. all of them,except for one.