The One That Got Away

      It has been already 3 years, but the memories are still clear, every detail of it. I never thought that up until this day I would still hold on to him, the feelings, and the moments where I felt "kiligs". They said that I should probably move on, but maybe I already decided that he was my first love even though we were both just a stranger to each other's eyes.

It sounds funny but, I still do. I never had a chance to confess in person because I was scared. I tried, but I guess it didn't work. I remember the time I wrote a letter where I told him that "I like him", but what do I expect, I was left hanging. I was broken and ashamed, so I kept it a secret up until this day.

Still waiting to have that another chance to meet him again, not to confess, but to see if he's doing alright. It might sound sad but not all story ends with a happy ending, and that's okay because sometimes the person that you like will not like you back. 

--3 years ago--

I was a grade 8 student in a public school same as him. He was a white skin toned, tall, and kind of chubby guy, while I'm a brown toned small student who adores him from afar. 

I guess he already knew but just ignored it.

 Since we didn't know each other, it was kind of creepy, me stealing glances to him. That's why my friends always tease me whenever he's around.

"Yiee, Dan, look he's coming!", and I would just sulk like a turtle.

I have a close friend, his name is Dom, he is in the same section as I am. He knows all of my "kalandian" stuff and sometimes we talk about our personal problems. He's a friend I can rely on when it comes to those kinds of things.

I met the guy that I like in front of the stairs, we were both just passing by, and he was like a shooting star near me shining bright. Making every second counts slowly but then I realized I was just imagining too much. The next day at school, Dom approached me.

"Friend, are you okay? "
"You have been imagining stuffs lately, looking at the wall like you can see the other room behind it", Dom asked. 

"Me? Oh sorry, I am just thinking about something",
             *Me denying that I have been thinking about him lately.

"Oh, I know you gurl, who's the guy?", he asked.

"I do not really know him; I just saw him passing by and caught my eye. I don't know, maybe it was just a weird feeling", I replied.

"Hmm... okay."

His name is Yan, the guy that I secretly like up until now.
   How did I know?
   Well, I looked over the internet and somehow, I found something.
   Oh, my lumpy, am I creepy?  Searching someone I really don't know desperately, scary.

Looking at him from afar, behind the dusty windows across the hallway from my room. Seeing him walk towards our classroom sometimes makes me forget that there's still a teacher in front discussing stuffs while I'm daydreaming and smiling weirdly.

There was this one time, it was lunch time, when Dom approached me and said,

"Baks, have you seen him, he's in the school's canteen."
   *Baks is a slang term for "bakla" and used as a call name with someone you are close with.
    Well of course, me being "pabebe" went to the canteen together with my classmate and we saw him with his friend. I slowly looked at him like I was in a movie, everything was in slow-mo.

"Oml, is this really happening?"
     *oml -> oh my lord

"Only the four of us are here, and why' is everything in slow-mo?",
          me being so imaginative and overreacting.