High and Drowning

Chapter 6

chaos [kāˌäs]

a noun

complete disorder and confusion

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All he could feel was the pounding of his heart, and the rushing of his blood. 

They knew, they knew, they knew. 

All it took was one drunken reveal, and suddenly, he felt like he was floating.

They knew, they knew, they knew. 

He knew this shouldn't affect him as much as it was, that maybe tomorrow he'd wake up and the fact that his coworkers knew, wouldn't bother him. But they knew. 

Gideon had known, Gideon had known. 

His breathing hitched. He had known, and he brushed, no, really tiptoed around the topic with him, barely even acknowledging it. He really had thought higher of Gideon. 

And Hotch? He was the unit chief. There was no way that he had marked off his change in behavior and looked the other direction. Had he? 

He knew, he knew, deep down inside, that they were only protecting him, hoping that he would come around. There's only so much you can do as coworkers. 

But, damnit he had thought they were more than coworkers.  He'd really banked on that, really put everything into it. Hoped that they would reach out to him, when they saw that he was drowning. 

He sat up, in slow disbelief, he was lost, floating in a sea of chaos. 

All because of one drunken conversation. 

What a few drinks can do. 

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It was not lost on Emily, that something had happened last night. It wasn't the fact that she got completely drunk and passed out, or the fact that she spent the night in JJ's house. 

This feeling was something different, more permanent, more final. 

She had to stop drinking so hard. 

She showed up at work, wincing at the bright lights and growled at Morgan when he tossed her an Advil. She took it, quickly, as soon as his back was turned. 

Damn hangover. 

She was kneading her forehead in a desperate plea to wish the ache away, when Morgan appeared. 

"Listen, Reid's not here, you know what's up?" 

She shook her head, probably getting high, but she was too nice for that so she settled for silence. 

Morgan plowed on. "It's just, it's, not like him to take a sick day, or take any days off really. Kid could come in dying and he would insist he was fine." 

She fixed him with a tired stare. "God, Morgan I don't know, I can't even remember last night." 

He grinned, momentarily distracted by the mention of last night. "Yeah, that was fun."

She managed a smile. "Yeah, let's just tone it down next time." What was it, that feeling, what did she do last night? Oh, god, did she hook up with someone? 

"Found you out stone-cold at the bar last night." Morgan laughed. 

She let out a laugh. So no hook ups then. The bar, the bar, the bar....Reid was at the bar. She frowned, she had to slow down on the drinking. 

Morgan turned to go and she grabbed his arm. "I have this feeling, like, something happened last night, and for the life of me I can't remember what it is." She let out a frustrated sigh.