My Brother's Bandmate

Chapter 12

It's been a week since me and Ashley split. CC keeps telling me he feels bad about cheating on me, and so do I. Relationships never bothered me. I've never care if someone cheated or broke up with me. I felt so much more with Ashley than I had anyone else before, though. I put on a long-sleeved black v-neck and a red pencil skirt that came to my mid-thigh since CC was taking me with him to the studio today, which means I have to be around Ash. I haven't seen him since right before he went out with that girl. We talked on the phone the day after I stayed with CC, telling each how pissed off we were and how we hated each other, then  we bothe ended up crying, but that's the only contact we've made.

"Ready, love?" CC asked me.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Let's go. I said as I shoved some papers into my purse.

"What're those?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just some songs I was working on." I said as I put on my red high heels. 

"Nicki, I haven't seen you right a song in forever." He smiled. I returned his smile and walked out the door.

"You're gonna let me hear it, right?" He asked, following me.

"Maybe when I'm done." I smiled at got into the passenger seat of CC's car.

When we pulled up to the studio CC wrapped his arms around my shoulder and we walked in together. Everyone gave me a hug, except Ash. I tried my best to avoid eye contact with him. They played one song then sat around and talked for a bit.

The guys were rehearsing and they were pretty damn good. CC let me play his drums a little bit. I was actually pretty good. I laughed and was having a great time, until I looked to see that I had a text from Ashley saying, "Meet me outside. We need to talk."

I did as he said and went next to him where he was standing. He looked me straight in the eye and I couldn't help but feel for him a little bit.

"What do you want?" I said rather harshly.

"I need to get the rest of my stuff from your house," he said.

"Yeah, wanna go now?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll text him and tell him we're leaving," he said.

We took his car since I came here with CC. The whole car ride was pretty quiet. The only sound was the radio and Ashley sighing every so often. I'm not even gonna lie; it was a little awkward.

"Why'd you do it, Ashley?" I asked, breaking the silence.

He sighed, "Nicki, I started thinking about you, and how perfect you were, and how we've been together this long. I just didn't understand why someone like you would want to be with me, especially with the reputation I have. I just-I got drunk and my mind was everywhere that night. Nicki, I don't deserve you. If I were you I'd hate me, too. I woke up the next morning, and saw her sleeping next to me, I wished it was you. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. You can call bullshit, but I mean it when I say I love you, Nicki, and I'm sorry."

I wiped away a tear from my eye and didn't respond. When we pulled into my driveway I jumped out and sauntered to the front door, unlocking it. I took my heels off and Ashley went upstairs into my bedroom. I followed him in there and started to help him fold his clothes.

"You don't have to help me." He said.

"No. It's fine." I told him.

It was silent for a moment.

"I really miss you." I said quietly.

He sighed, "I miss you, too, Nicki. I don't know what to do."

"Ashley, just give me one more night." I said. He looked confused, "One more night of us. Ashley, we both fucked up. I don't want anyone else but you. I only did what I did because I was mad at you. Just stay with me tonight and let's pretend nothing happened, that we're as perfect as we were when we started, and when morning comes, if you decide that you wanna leave and you don't want me anymore then so be it."

I started crying a little bit and Ashley wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. I've missed this. I hope everything just goes back to normal. We put on our pajamas and crawled up on bed together. He was twirling my hair with his fingers while my head was on his chest.

"I've missed being in you're arms. And when we would sing to each other. I've been so lonely without you with me." I said.

"Sing for me, Nicki." He whispered.

"Something's changed, I can't erase 

My world crashed down with you're last breath

Holding you, holding me

Tell myself you're just asleep

Everyday I wake up alone

I just wanted you, oh

If you leave can I go, too?

If you die then take me with you

And if you ever think of letting me go

Then baby I don't wanna know, oh, oh

The scars remind me

The pain is real

The memories

In my head

Wanting you here with me

I'd give away everything

Everyday I wake up alone

I just wanted you, oh

If you leave can I go, too?

If you die then take me with you

And if you ever think of letting me go

Then baby I don't wanna know, oh, oh

If you leave can I go, too?

If you die then take me with you

And if you ever think of letting me go

Then baby I don't wanna know, oh, oh" I sang quietly.

I sighed and finally fell asleep. Whenever morning gets here, I hope he is, too.

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Song:

If you leave by Lynam