Lover: Bill Denbrough x Reader (Sequel to Losers: Bill Denbrough x Reader)

Barrens Sweet Barrens

We trekked through the backroads of Derry, running on nothing but too much chinese food, alcohol, and fear. I didn't know where we were heading, but this path felt familiar underneath my sneakers. It felt as though, I was stepping back through the years. Back to being thirteen. Back to that summer.

But there was something stopping me. As if I wasn't allowed to remember the good parts. It was like something wanted to scare me away, to scare us away. I think that clown was scared himself. We almost killed him back then, I think he knows that we have a better chance of taking him down now. Sure we're older, but that just means we're more pissed off and drunk than before. There's nothing we want more than to fuck off back to opposite ends of the country and live out the rest of our mildly successful lives, and nothing us going to stop us from doing that.

We slowly made our way through the open field, the long grass reaching out to caress our fingertips. From here I could hear some type of running water, and it was a soothing sound that echoed across the vast space. I looked over to Eddie who had held my pace towards the back of the group. I could tell that he was nervous, probably more so than the rest of us.

I reached out and grabbed ahold of his hand. He flinched at the sudden contact, his mind being snatched back to reality from somewhere far away. His eyes snapped up to mine and softened once he realized it was friend, not foe, that had touched him. I squeezed his hand reassuringly and offered a small smile. He grinned over at me and he seemed to relax.

Eddie and I walked close enough together that our shoulders brushed against one another, our fingers intertwined. Eddie and I were never the best of friends and I felt in this moment that I had missed out on a lot. He was a good guy, and a true sweetheart although he could be a bit chaotic at times. If I didn't know how he and Richie felt about one another, I might have even had a crush on him when we were younger. And I suppose deep down, I did. That's why I didn't get close with Eddie, I couldn't do that to Richie.

I know that it seems as though I had feelings for everyone in the group at one point in my life, and that's not entirely a lie. It's just that when you spend almost your entire life being ridiculed and sexualized and made fun of, you tend to get close with those who don't pull shit like that.

My first crush from our losers club,  or ever for that matter, was most likely Eddie now that I look back at it. We couldn't have been more than seven at the time, running off to spend hours in a dandelion field. Mrs. Kaspbrak had told Eddie that he had allergies but because she hadn't explained what allergies were, this false 'illness' didn't bother him at the time. I would pick the yellow weeds and gently place them in his dark hair. He'd make me flower crowns and call me his princess. We held hands, kissed each other on the cheek, and played out the workings of our fantasy kingdom. He had to stop hanging out with me once his mom found out. We eventually found our way back together behind her back.

Next, was the late Stanley Uris when we were about ten or eleven. He used to take me birdwatching with him. We'd sneak out super early and disappear into the woods every Saturday. He'd show me all the pretty colorful birds and then whisper "If you were a bird, I bet you'd be one of those." We'd giggle quietly hoping that we hadn't scared off said birds. We'd have a picnic breakfast and we'd sneak back home before anyone was even aware that we'd left. This went on for what felt like forever, in a good way. In those moments with Stan, it was as if we were the only people on Earth.

Then of course came Bill. I couldn't pinpoint when or why I fell for Bill so hard. All I knew was that Bill was safe. He was a warm and comforting protector. He always put himself in between Henry and I. Bill was always gentle and he never judged me when I'd hide myself away when a new rumor would surface. He was always such a kind a gentle person, and I loved him for it. Something else I adored was the personalized attention. He'd tuck notes in my locker and he'd even shown me his sketchbook, filled with doodles of anything around him and occasionally a girl with (h/c) hair and big (e/c) eyes.