limes & lemons • astro shorts collection

it's hard • sanhyuk

" It's so hard living with you. "

It echoed in Sanha's ears, over and over. He felt trapped by the words. Strangling him till he couldn't breathe.

"Sanha?" He blinked and suddenly he was back at present, Jinwoo raising an eyebrow in concern. "I was calling for you a few times now. Anything the matter?"

"Ah no, hyung." Sanha continued to pack things into his black backpack. The dinosaur on the bag used to make him smile easily, now it was nothing more than just a design. "I have to get going."

Jinwoo frowned harder. "Where are you going? It's late."

Sanha smiled tightly, zipping his bag close. "Practice."

"You say that...But Sanha, you've been out late and coming home late too. I rarely ever see you."

Sanha bit his lip, feeling guilty for worrying him. But the words echoed again, and it made him forget. "I have the MC thing Hyung, and I need to brush up on practice too." Sanha walked towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe."

"Sanha..." he ignored the call, and just as he was about to exit, it opened to reveal Rocky, who looked at him in surprise.

"Ah Where are you-"

"Bye." Sanha said hastily brushing past the older, running out their dorm. He didn't dare look back.

As soon as he was far enough, Sanha slowed to a walk. Their dorm wasn't too far from their company and dance studio, but he wasn't heading there anyway. He took the opposite turn, and walked down the sidewalk. There weren't many people out at such a late hour. He entered a convenience store, buying some food and snacks, including breakfast for the next day, before exiting again and walking. When he reached his destination, he sighed and sat on the swings. The playground as silent as ever. The weather was getting warm, the spring coolness almost gone, but that was alright with him. It would beat staying out at night in the cold.

He'd been doing this for a week. Something he knew was dangerous. But that's only if he sleeps, so he doesn't. Instead, staying up all night and sneaking back in their dorm when he knew no one was around to take a nap before leaving again.

Why was he doing this? The words echoed again.

" It's so hard living with you. "

The words stabbed him. After hearing that, he made sure to avoid him at all costs. If Rocky found it hard to live with him, then he'd leave him be. If they didn't share a room, he would have easily avoided him. He could have asked to switch rooms, but then the other Hyungs would ask - he'd rather not explain.

Sanha sighed, opening the plastic bag and picking the ice cream he bought before opening it and started eating. He kicked his feet and the he started swinging slowly. It became a routine now. At least with the playground, he had things to do to keep him awake. As soon as his ice cream was finished, he just blankly stared at the ground while he swayed on the chains. Until, the dark ground suddenly lit with his shadow before the sun rose high up in the sky waking everyone for another morning. Sanha heaved a breath before getting off the swings and grabbing his stuff.

He yawned as he walked back home. Sticking his hand into the plastic, he grabbed the wrap he bought for breakfast and munched on it as he walked. He pulled a bucket hat from his bag and put it on, covering his eyes as he tried to look inconspicuous to onlookers. At the interaction of his company, he tapped his foot waiting for the sign to turn green but before he could cross, he was suddenly pulled by the hand.

Sanha yelped and went on to scream when a hand went over his mouth.

"Ddana! Calm down!" Recognizing one of his Hyungs' voice, he stopped struggling and the person holding him released him.