Trouvaille

Chapter 7

There was one place that Nikki always went to, to the extent that she knew that place like the back of her hand. And there was one place that Nikki never let herself visit, even though her entire childhood had been spent aching to be able to live there.

A long time ago, when Nikki was in a very bad mental space, a friend had told her that she would only go deeper into that spiral if she didn't 'get the fuck out of the stinky apartment and take yourself somewhere pretty.' That time, mainly due to the insistence of her friend, Nikki had travelled somewhere on her own-the first time she had travelled without her family or friends. There was something about travelling alone that woke up her soul. The way she didn't have to cater to the needs of different people, and how she could go where she wanted, get lost in different alleyways, eat food she wouldn't try normally and do things that she seemed to not be able to do around people who'd known her.

Nikki had ticked off a lot of things on her bucket list in her travels-

The first time she went skinny dipping. She had gone to a remote beach in Mumbai after she broke up with the first person she'd ever truly loved, and alone on that beach at night, she'd thrown off all her clothes and went rushing into the ocean. When she came out, she'd left behind a lot of things. She'd let herself grieve over the relationship, which she hadn't let herself do because she was carrying the guilt of having been the one to end the relationship.

The first time she'd kissed a girl, the first time she'd ever slept with a girl. This had been when she'd gone to Europe with the money she'd saved up over a year. Something about being away from India and the person she was supposed to be for her parents had let her lean forward and brush the lips of Rena, the petite bartender with blue streaks in her hair. Rena had convinced her to stay past the closing of the bar and then introduced Nikki to a whole new world. Nikki had stayed in touch with Rena, and had visited that particular bar in Germany more than once since.

The first time she'd danced in public. Nikki had two left feet and an incapability to move her body to the rhythm. Her friends' highly amused reactions every time they saw her dance had led her to never dance in public, and every time she went out clubbing she'd stay at the bar, consequently much more drunk than her friends. But one time in a crowded club in Goa, a pretty boy had convinced her to dance with him, and she'd realized that nobody really cares how well you dance in a club.

The first time she'd ditched her original travel plans and joined a group of strangers on their quest to see the Northern Lights. She'd shivered all night long outside a hut in Norway waiting for the lights but it had been worth it in the end, to see the beauty of the Northern lights spread across the sky. The girl sitting next to her had grabbed her hand, and the entire group had held hands as they stared in awe at the lights. That experience had led her to believe in a higher power- not necessarily any religion in particular but that there was something higher than all of them.

Something about the magic of meeting perfect strangers and learning their stories, only to never see them again was healing. Offering up her stories and vulnerabilities was easier for her when she knew that they didn't expect anything out of her, and she out of them. Walking around the streets of an unknown city, watching beauty appear in front of her at the most unexpected of times never failed to convince Nikki that life was worth the living.

And so, Nikki had left LA and was wandering around Germany at the moment. She'd found out soon enough that out of context, no one recognized her. She was very rarely bothered by paparazzi, and she spent her nights in youth hostels and eating in small cafes and was generally unbothered by her real life that awaited her. She'd sent Kay and Tom a text saying she was fine. Then she'd gotten a ticket and left LA. She only got messages when she connected to WiFi, and even then she just ignored messages.