Jamilton Oneshots

Legit Found my Keys

Alex woke up resentfully, clinging at the scraps of his dreams that were rapidly fading. He sat up, and felt a flash of fear and confusion.

where the fuck am i

He looked down to check that he was still fully dressed, which he was, thankfully. He looked over to the clock and screamed.

"It's 10:00?!" Alex jumped out of bed (whoever's bed it was) and burst through the door. 

Where the hell am I?

He ran through the kitchen and stopped. The memories of the night before came back to him in busts. 

"Thomas!" Alex yelled, fumbling for his phone on the table. He finally unlocked it and called Thomas.

"Yo. Go for Jefferson." Thomas's lofty voice answered after three rings.

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, WHY AM I AT YOUR HOUSE, WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME-"

"Oh, hey honey. You were sick, so I let ya sleep." He said. Alex could hear papers shuffling in the background.

"WHAT?!" Alex shouted into his phone.

Honey? He thought.

"Don't bother driving here, you don't have keys and I instructed everyone in the building not to let you in." Thomas said. Alex could practically hear the grin on his face.

"Listen, you better give me my fucking keys. I need to pay the rent, Jefferson! Let me-"

Beep

The fucker hung up on him. Okay. Okay. This is fine. He sat back on the table, running his hands through his hair. He glanced at the newspaper sitting on the table, the only page that was even looked at being the comics.

fucking Thomas.

fucking bitch motherfucking fucker dickface  asshat mcFucker with a side of dickwad-

Alex took a deep breath, pausing the constant stream of profanity. All he had to do was relax. But he didn't have his wallet, did he? When was he allowed back to the office? Thomas did realize that the keys to Alex's house were at the office, right?

Ring.

Ring. Ri-

"Yyyyello, go for Jefferson."

"Thomas where is my wallet?!" Alex shouted into the phone.

"Oh yeah, that. I have it right here." There was a patting sound on the other end, which Alex assumes to be Thomas patting his wallet.

"You also realize that the keys to my house are at the office right?"

"Yep."

"When am I allowed back to the office?"

Jesus. He sounded like a child asking his mother when he could get his video games back.

"I'unno. A week, maybe."

"You do realize that that job is my only source of income and I depend on it to survive?" Alex asked, his voice shaking in anger.

"You'll be staying at my house, fully fed, watered, and clothed. When your mental leave is over you'll be allowed back, dokie?"

"Wha-dokie?"

"Okie-Dokie. Anyways, I gotta run, they're having free cookies in the cabinet meeting today! Smell you later, hun." Thomas hung up again.