Street lights

Secrets

Chapter 6:

I think we don't appreciate toxic relationships enough, we don't speak about the growth they come with and it's wrong. You know when you get triggered after you've recovered and you laugh at something that once brought you so much pain?. That's me and my parents, I would rather create all the lies in the world than to admit what happened between us. I love them enough to not want to ruin the memories that were made before the darkness that entered made me runaway.

Me"Duma"

He turned around and looked at me

Me"Don't, the fight is between us and that's how it should remain. You had no right to cross that line"

I said this with such a calm voice, I think I made myself Cheever.

Duma" You lied"

Me" I had my reasons and you had no right to go behind my back "

Duma" You lies Talitha! How the hell does one with good reason? "

Me" I did what had to be done"

He scoffed

"You would never understand"

Duma" This is not one of those arguments where you get to use my privilege as a weapon. This is about right and wrong, you lied to me and you didn't have to do that. I told you everything and you still lied to me. You I let you in and you took me for a fool"

Me" Duma! Are you even listening to yourself?. How is this about you?. That is my truth, those are my parents and you had no right! You invaded my privacy and you are still the victim in this!"

"You once said to me; my daughter and I will swap street corners, you basically called me filth and you took my biggest insecurity and you threw it in my face! Now imagine if I had told you about my parents? You say things and they hurt! You say things and you don't understand that words hurt. I love you but I love this baby way more, I would rather stand on every street corner than be with someone who will constantly remind me of what they have done for me"

He kept quiet and I wiped my tears, I used to wonder when do you know that something is over. Is there a sign that God sends or what but at this moment I knew, no signs were needed. This was something you felt and at this moment I didn't feel angry, I didn't feel betrayed none of that I was just okay. I was okay with never seeing with this guy again, I was okay with being a prostitute if it meant giving my daughter the life she deserves. And God knows I was okay with society judging me because you know what? I judged myself too and I was okay with that.

Me" I'm done"

"This is it for me, I will try to not change my number and if you one day wake up and you want to see your daughter. Call me"

*

It's crazy how time flies when you mind your own business and focus on what matters. That's exactly what I did, I grieved for my friends and continued working for Gloria. I booked clients and hotel rooms, verified payments and all those other things. It was crazy what I learned but I also enjoyed just doing this because it kept me busy.

Gloria" You are due soon, do you have everything "

These past 3 months I have been saving up and buying everything I thought I would need. With the help of Gloria I think I was ready for her, actually I am lying. I was more than ready, I was excited.

Me" I want to work"

She always ignores me when I say this

"I need to work Glo"