Amnesia

3

The doctor enlightened us about my MRI and CAT SCAN, he confirmed I had amnesia and that I might not regain my memory due to the injury that caused it.

I wish I could remember it but I had a pretty good idea. He discharged me and sent me home with my parents. The car ride made me sick, I felt bad that they had to constantly pull over. Mom and dad assured me that it was fine.

I tried to close my eyes at some point during the ride home, making it even worse. I gave up and just went with the car pulling over every few miles. Not fast enough, we made it home and I nearly kissed the ground. Dad helped with what little bags I had and mom ran me a shower, said "I smelled like a hospital disinfectant," which would be bleach and alcohol.

I laughed and settled into the caressing water, allowing it to splash my stitched cheek and swollen features. I thought about my family, my parents and estranged brother. My brother, Nick, was married and far away from Mississippi. He didn't want to stay here, the last thing I remember of him was when he moved to Cleveland. I barely remember his features, just the same colour eyes as mom. We used to be inseparable, but people grow up, I suppose. I sighed heavily and began to wash away the 'hospital smell', as my mother so elegantly put. The water was turning cold just when I rinsed the shampoo from my hair.

I didn't think about anything as I dried and dressed into a pair of my old sweat pants and sweater. I felt exposed, even with the thick clothing. I shook the feeling off, I wanted to get back to my life and catch up on what I missed. I opened the bathroom door, and was immediately assaulted by the smell of steak, corn and cake.

Tears teased my eyes, I missed those smells. When I was going to school, I opted out for ramen noodles, or the student diet, as my friends so called it.

I gasped, that was a memory from the day after Christmas.

I returned to my apartment with a ton of left overs, my friend, Jessica, swung by to eat some. She claimed to be sick of eating ramen noodles. I smiled, maybe I wouldn't be without my memories forever.

I tossed my clothes down the chute and headed downstairs. Pictures of me and Nick clung to the walls, some of them from our childhood and most from our adolescent years.

I didn't want to look at the photos, I didn't want to think about Nick or if he looked for me. I just wanted to replace what I lost on the way home.

I made the sharp left to the kitchen and was welcomed by the scene. Mom was washing the dinner utensils she had used, and dad was drying them. At least this hadn't changed. They made small talk and mom would giggle then smack dad for saying something.

I smiled, "it smells delicious in here," as I took a seat.

Dad turned slightly to see me and smiled, just as mom shut off the sink and came over to place a small kiss on my hair. I patted the hand she rested on my shoulder before she turned to make my plate.

I was right about the steak and corn, but I hadn't smelled the baked potatoes. The cake sat on the counter covered in frosting already. Mom did sure know how to cook fast.

I cut into my steak and ate, savoring the flavors that danced easily on my tongue. Mom and dad ate too, making small talk about the politics and mom talking about chores that needed to be done.

"I'll help you dad," I said, after washing down the steak with my iced tea.

Dad looked at me and mom, "it's fine. I can do them, honey."

I shook my head, "I want to get back to the swing of things, I would really love to help you. We can even plan a hunting trip for this deer season."

Mom looked at dad smiling, appreciating the banter. Dad looked at his steak as he cut it, avoiding my eyes. What's wrong with him? I thought, trying to make him at least look at me.

Mom noticed it too and dad jumped up, no doubt mom had kicked him. He looked at me then, "fine. We can do some chores and plan that trip."

I nodded, but I had lost my appetite. I wanted whatever dad was thinking out in the open. "Did I do something..wrong?" I ask, setting my fork and knife down, trying not to yell. Since he came to the hospital dad had avoided talking to me, and I wanted to know why.

"No." Dad said sharply, sipping his tea.

"Well, why are you acting funny? You refuse to look at me just now, and you hadn't said one word to me at the hospital." I return, leaning into the table, begging for him to look at me.

"Is it because I'm bruised? Is it the stitches? You have to tell me!" I was screaming now, my body shaking from the anger that consumed me.

Dad stood up, setting,his utensils down, his food no longer holding the answers to every question the universe had come up with. I could see mom tense as she glanced quickly at me and her husband.

I narrowed my eyes, not willing to back down. I wanted him to answer me, to man up and have a civilized discussion; not being shunned, or whatever he was doing to me.

He inhaled through his nose, "I thought you were dead. I went along with your mother so she wouldn't have to jump right in. She almost began to believe it, until the hospital called. I had come to terms with you being dead."

I flinched involuntarily at his confession. I sat my eating utensils calmly down, and stood up. My whole body was shaking with anger and sadness that when I spoke I was shocked to hear such a calm demeanor encase my voice, "maybe I should have."

I turned away, not meeting anyone's eyes as I headed out the door, and sliding into my house slippers. I slammed the heavy wooden door closed, not bothering with an apology.

I felt cold and numb, I didn't want to stay there, I also had no place to stay. I sighed, I had to go back, but right now, it didn't seem plausible.

I let my,mind go blank as I kept walking. I didn't go far before a man ran into me, knocking me off balance.

I fell on my ass, the shock reverberating through my whole frame, tingling the stitches on my cheek.

I looked up ready to yell and apologise at the same time. I knew I should have paid more attention due to my experience, but I didn't. The man I ran into had wavy black hair, his shocked eyes a beautiful muddy brown, his olive skin smooth and a strong jaw held all those features.

My mouth open and closed like a fish out of water as I struggled to say something, anything. The stranger caught me off guard as he helped me up and hugged me.

"Lisa, I've been trying to reach you. I missed you so much."

His voice sent shivers down my back. Good or bad, I hadn't figured it out.