Fighting Love (Completed)

Chapter 18: Matt

  Jimin walked into the house his friends immediately swarmed him. he brushed them off " I'm going to lie down" he headed upstairs not glancing back once. Jungkook sighed, he suddenly felt like a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon separated them.

  Jimin plopped down on his bed, glancing around, noting the pale gray walls with matching carpet, curtains, and bedding. There was a time when his life was full of bright colors, yellow was his favorite, it reminded him of Matt, Matt was like the sun, so bright and warm. 

  He had seen him around many times but never spoke to him because he was shy, but Sky, his best friend, and Matt's younger brother felt the spark so he tried his best to push them together. Jimin freaked at first, Matt stirred up emotions in him he had never felt before and that made him extremely uncomfortable. He tried to stay away knowing his strict parents would never accept him being gay but the heart wants what the heart wants.

  They are all curled up on the couch at Sky's house watching movies when Sky announces he is going to bed leaving Matt and him alone in the dark. He tried to focus on the movie when he felt the cushion dip and an arm slide across his shoulders, his breath hitched in his chest at the close proximity. He turned his head, Matt is so close he could smell his aftershave. Matt cupped his chin thumb softly brushing his cheek " please tell me you feel it too" Jimin's heart raced in his chest, he licked his dry lips and slowly nodded, there's no use running away because everything you have ever desired is right in front of you. 

  Matt leaned down and captured his lips in a tender kiss, this is his first kiss and it couldn't be more perfect. Matt asked him out that very night, everything was so perfect, but Matt hated that they had to date is secret. Sky is the only one that knew about them, and of course Jin. Jimin wanted to keep it secret from his parents, so there was no hand-holding or affection of any kind in public. 

  Matt held Jimin's hand in the movie theater, leaning over he pressed a quick kiss to his lips. Jimin gasped and pushed him away " relax it's too dark for anyone to see" they missed most of the movie as they are too busy making out to pay the movie a glance. Later Matt dropped him off at home he walked in the house with a smile on his face, a fist came flying out of nowhere knocking him to the floor. His father stood over him face red breathing hard " someone saw you kissing a boy at the movies, is it true?" Jimin is so tired of hiding who he is, it's time to come clean " it's true I'm gay" his father grabbed him by the t-shirt and hauled him to his feet only to rain blows all over his body, till he collapsed to the floor.  His body curled in on itself trying to protect his stomach, as his father kicked him. His mother stood in the doorway of the kitchen sobbing quietly, she never made a move to stop him.

    When they made love Matt saw the bruises and there was only so many times he could trip before the truth had to be told, Matt is livid, to say the least. He wanted to confront Jimin's father but Jimin managed to talk him out of it.

  It's been three months since the beatings started, Jimin doesn't know how much longer he can take it. He gets a text from Matt meet me outside it read. Jimin walked through the house and to the front door, stepping outside he spotted Matt leaning against his car, a girl next to him    " I want to break up I found some else" he said gesturing to the girl. Jimin heart shattered to his feet as tears streamed down his face " if that's what you want, ok" Matt helped the girl into the car then stopped " promise me you won't hurt yourself" Jimin turned walking back into his house, ignoring his words.

  Jimin stayed in his room for days thinking, when he came to the conclusion that the entire experience was a mistake, and he was never gay to begin with. When he shared this with Jin and Sky they just shook their heads sadly. Jimin desperately needed to believe this for his mental health, because to him being gay brought nothing but pain. His parents never went back to normal,  neither spoke to him until he became a shadow in his own house. The beatings continued, even though he no longer saw Matt his father could not forgive his sin. He pushed Matt to the back of his mind and threw himself into work but life is funny. Years later Matt becomes a model for Calvin Klein, his face is literally everywhere. 

  A tear trickles down his cheek as he lies down clutching his pillow to his chest. He hated him, he had shredded his heart and stomped on it but he still longed for him, every time he saw his image he would feel his touch and his body would shudder. He wanted so badly to forget, hell he had moved to get away from his memory, but even here his image haunts him. Matt is now a singer, his music is everywhere. 

  Jimin can recall the first time he heard his sweet voice on the radio, he felt like the lyrics shot straight to his heart (the song is at top of page) he had to pull over the tears in his eyes blinding him. He changed the station whenever the song came on his heart couldn't take it, he avoided the radio altogether since his music is on every station. Once he stumbled upon an interview on TV he avoided it like the plague, choosing to read instead. 

  It's been eight years since that day and Jimin yearns to see him one last time, to ask him why?  that day he had been in shock, his mind verily registering what is happening. He needed to know why so he could move on.

I hope this chapter isn't confusing. Since Matt broke up with him he denies being gay so Jin just goes with it because he doesn't want to upset him, but he knows you can't simply change your sexuality so he gently goads him from time to time hoping he will one day accept who he is.