The Smile of an Idol

Chapter 1 - The Performance of an Idol

"Come on!" Karin shouted, her hair blowing with the breeze, "It's about to begin!" Despite Karin's loud voice and in-your-face manner, I didn't hear her. Maybe my hearing's gone bad, maybe I'm in my head again, maybe Karin has stopped screaming, I don't know. I continued standing still in the back room. The performance was in 10 minutes, but my hair was still a mess and my frilly, rose-colored outfit was continuing to hang on the dressing room rack. I was watching myself by the mirror, my dark circles still prominent despite the insane amount of makeup I was wearing and my idol name, Roselia, ringing in my ears. Roselia, Roselia, Roselia! You're not Lynn, you're Roselia!

"Come... ON!!" Karin's loud voice snapped me out of my trance. "Get your outfit on and let's GO! You're on in 8 minutes!" I slowly got out of my dressing room chair, knocking over the water on my vanity table. I slipped on my skirt and matching top over my undergarments. The costume was designed by Karin herself. She knows I'm not a fan of frilly skirts and cropped tops, but she still gave me that anyway. I can't blame her, though, it's quite uncommon for idols to not wear things like that. The top was short enough that you could see my ribs poking out. I hated it. The skirt was ruffled and had multiple layers. I had a petticoat under it, but I was still scared of wearing it while dancing. I know my underwear wasn't going to show, but spinning in it made me nervous. The tight, thigh-high stockings covered up most of my skinny legs, but that somehow made them look even worse. The garters that helped them stay up didn't really help either. The whole thing was adorned with various kinds of pink bows and roses. The whole thing made me uncomfortable, but I guess that's just the nature of being an idol. You have to cater to all kinds of people, no matter who they are. "Gotta give the people what they want!" she said.

Once in my outfit, I quickly brushed out my hair and twirled it into submission. The long locks wrapped around my fingers combined with bobby pins turned my once messy hair into a perfect bun. I clipped my signature rose ribbon hairpiece into my bun and I was ready to go. "5 minutes 'til showtime!" I quickly sat back in my chair for one last look in the mirror. SMACK! I slapped my cheeks and put on my best smile. Gotta give the people what they want, right? And right now, they need a picture-perfect idol.

I jumped out of my seat and sprinted to the wings of backstage to where Karin was standing. "Took you long enough," she mumbled under her breath, thinking I couldn't hear her. I simply replied with a quick "I know," and silently walked onto the stage. The curtains were still drawn and I couldn't see a thing. I quickly scratched at my ear, a nervous habit. All I could feel were the large, pink rose-shaped studs in my ears and the gentle rocking of the ship. I almost forgot we weren't on land. I've performed before, so why was I so nervous? Why was this time any different? I know it wasn't any different at all, but that's what scared me the most. Why was I nervous? Karin's still here. You're Roselia, you mustn't be scared. You need to be cheerful, you need to be pretty, and above all else, you need to be the audience's picture-perfect idol. You can't run away anymore, you mustn't run away. Everyone's counting on you.

The spotlight flicked onto me and the curtains opened me up to the public. The fan's screams could only be described as deafening. The pink lightsticks in their hands were being waved around so vigorously, and the spotlight didn't help either. It was enough to give someone a seizure. The poppy melody of the song started to play signaling the beginning of the performance. Buh-duh, buh-duh-duh, duh~ duh duh-duh... I've practiced this song countless times and I remembered all the words. Yes yes, go go!! Roselia, scream your heart out! Ai, ai, ai!! The tempo slowly increased, signaling my start. Ba-dump, badump, badump. My heartbeat increased with the overwhelming speed of the melody. Sweat was pouring down my face and tears started gathering in the corners of my big, doll-like eyes. The compact idol mic clipped to my top was slowly swirling into the vivid pink of my top. The giant bow at the front was mixing into the reddish-brown of my hair. The beat continued, tempo increasing, the audience no longer screaming. I raised my hands up to my face and stared at them. I could hear a different kind of shrieking now, not the scream of an overly-excited fangirl, but more like one of a concerned family member. Karin still sat in her chair, her legs crossed over one another, like a big-shot CEO. My shaking knees grew weak and collapsed into the hardwood stage floor. My pink heels clacked against the back of my skirt and firmly dug into my skin. Still, my eyes stayed focused on my swirling hands and my sparkly long nails. My sweaty palms soon touched my face, then went back to my sides. I slowly brought my knees back up and stood on the stage floor in my uncomfortable shoes. The beat was still playing. Buh-duh, buh-duh-duh, duh~ duh duh-duh...

The time for my lines to come had passed a long time ago, but I didn't even notice. Buh-duh, buh-duh-duh, duh~ duh duh-duh... The amount of sweat streaming down my face almost made it seem like it was raining. You wouldn't even be able to notice the tears streaming down my cheeks. My knees buckled once again, but this time it was permanent. Everything was mixing together now, like cake batter. My hair was swirling into my top and my legs were mixing into the floor. The lightsticks were no longer their own object, but an extension of the black velvet-covered theater seats; the spotlight was becoming one with the overhead crew. Everything continued swirling until it was one big twirling, melting pot. Then, it stopped. I could feel myself fading. Did I inhale some of Karin's smoke? No... that's not it. Did I take an extra pill by mistake? No... that's not it. Did someone spike my drink? No... that's not it. Did I not sleep enough? Maybe. Did I forget to eat again? Probably. Yeah... maybe that's it. I was too busy sorting through my options to notice the loud blaring of the alarm and heavy hands of the paramedics picking me up and whisking me away. 

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Yay, my first ever chapter! So, how did I do? Any and all feedback is appreciated! Just a warning: there will probably be a very bad upload schedule for this book. Also, I will draw an official cover at some point, I'm just too lazy to do it right now. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it so far!~