Suffocating - A Twilight Story

Chapter One

Cystic Fibrosis. (sistic•feyeBROsis) A genetic illness caused by an abnormality in the 7th chromosome that mainly affects the respiratory system. A terminal genetic illness. Or, alternatively, the bane of Cassidy Fletcher's life.
It was because of this fore-mentioned genetic illness that Cassidy found herself on that particular day curled up under an abhorrent amount of blankets on the respiratory ward of St Ormond's Street Children's Hospital. The ever-present November rain tapped against the windows with vigour, and the young girl shivered as she drew her covers tighter around her slight body.

'Fucking hell, doesn't anyone know how to turn on a radiator around here?' she mumbled to herself, absentmindedly picking at one of the animal decals on the wall behind her.

Technically, she'd been all around the world - or at least been given a world tour of the inside of hospitals. Green and cream, or white and grey. Sometimes with bright colour accents, and each with their own theme. Normally safari animals (smiling lions and frolicking zebras you get the idea) but balloons and clouds were common, and so were the odd unicorn. At least here, in her usual hospital she didn't have to deal with outdated clown faces grinning down at her from the walls when she was doped up on morphine, she thought with a shudder as she made a mental list of the things to hang up tomorrow. One of the perks of long-stay wards was that she was allowed to actually decorate her room with her personal belongings, and try in vain to turn the stark white walls and hospital-lino floor into something fashionably worthy for a 14 year old girl. Mind, she'd have to actually find the energy to do so in the first place.

'Time for your AffloVest Cupcake.'

There was strictly one person, and one person only that was allowed to call her Cupcake without Cassidy attempting (and failing) to break both of their legs, and that person was Susanna Iqbal, or as everyone knew her, Nurse Sue. Nurse Sue had been in her life for as long as she could remember; every single operation or injection, every consultation and scan - she was there, holding her hand through it all. Cassidy imagined that was what having a mum was like.

'Reallyyyy? You know how much it sucks.' She pouted in a futile attempt at bargaining.

'AffloVest. Now. You know the rules. And don't forget your nebs.' Sue unhooked the chunky blue vest from the wall and pressed it firmly into the young girls' lap.

'Yeah yeah, treatments  or I'll die, got it boss' Cassidy mumbled with a mock salute, as the older lady made her way to the door, suppressing a smile.

The night passed in that funny way they tend to do in hospital - time dragged itself out painstakingly slowly but then, at the same time all seemed to blur together into a haze of boredom that made it impossible to tell minutes from hours. Cass dutifully did her night treatments, changed into some clean nightclothes (it wasn't like she wasn't already wearing pyjama throughout the day anyway) and tidied up her slightly haphazard shelves as best as she could - she'd get round to the proper cleaning tomorrow. People popped in every now and then to offer a quick smile and a check of her meds, vitals were recorded and night notes prepared and then slowly, the ever-present hustle and bustle of the hospital started to ebb. It was never really quiet of course, but general chatter and activity hushed, with the fluorescent overhead lights dimmed to a softer glow. Somewhere outside her window - in the real world people were shouting and she was pretty sure she could hear fireworks.
It was then as Cassidy finally collapsed back in bed, surrounded by the ambience of London night-life, that she closed her eyes and let the overwhelming sense of loneliness that she'd been suppressing in vain all day wash over her. Staring up at the tiled ceiling, twisting her oxygen tube around her fingers, she let the tears leak out from the corner of her eyes and caress her face with their salty touch, providing her with an embrace no-one else would give.
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The next day dawned bright and early; with the seemingly ever-present rain finally surrendering to a weak autumn sun that occasionally poked its head out from behind the clouds. A monotonous beeping pierced the sleepy peacefulness of the room and Cassidy groaned groggily, sticking her head under a pillow to block out the noise before resignedly stumbling out of bed. She somewhat uncoordinatedly punched at the buttons on the IV pole next to her bed - the source of the damn noise - and disconnected the clear feeding tube from the port in her stomach. Once she'd  cleaned her port, Cass made her way to the small en-suite bathroom that lead off from her room. Collapsing on the toilet, she stared at herself resignedly in the large mirror, grimacing at her appearance. Her skin was a sickly white - so pale it was almost translucent and deep, bruise-like purple shadows surrounded her under eyes. Her once vibrant green eyes were empty, and the light smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks suddenly looked unnatural against her skin. The thing she hated most however, was the clear nasal cannula that rested under her nostrils, hooked up behind her ears and came back around to under her chin. The actual thing itself wasn't too ugly - but it was a physical representation of her illness, a marker that seemed to scream 'Stare at me! The poor sick kid!' everywhere she went. Cass turned away from the mirror with a frown, and went to the sink to rinse out the bad taste that had suddenly appeared in her mouth.

'Why is it I have nothing to wear?' The teenage girl despaired as she rummaged through her crammed suitcase, tossing 'unacceptable' clothes onto a steadily growing pile nearby.
After much grumbling and groaning (and a terrifying moment where she thought she'd only packed one bra) Cass finally pulled out a suitable pair of bluey-green (was it called teal?) jogging bottoms and a white cami top. It wasn't vogue-standard or anything but she decided as she was in fact, in hospital and not Paris in fashion week, it would probably suffice. A quick brush of her slightly unruly hair and a scrub of her face with a flannel did wonders to freshen the young girl up and ten minutes later, she found herself feeling much better as she took the myriad of pills she needed before breakfast.
She was unenthusiastically stirring the bowl of cheerios in front of her, in fact, when Sue came in - flushed and holding what seemed to be an overkill number of clipboards. Cass looked up questioningly, glad for a distraction from her unappealing breakfast and the older woman began to talk excitedly.

"You need to be on your best behaviour today, Cupcake, as you're having a few visitors!"

She felt her heart sink at the woman's words, and turned back to her cheerios, mumbling as she did so.

"I've already said; I'm fed up of being paraded around in front of Foster Families who'll take me on for a few months before dumping me right back in the home. It's better to just not get my hopes up and then they won't disappoint me."

Sue frowned for a second and made her way over to the bed, smoothing out the sheets under her.

"Hey, hey" she gently took hold of Cassidy's hand, "It's not a Foster Family okay? A rather famous doctor from America has come for a convention here for a couple weeks - I won't bore you with the details but it's about research for respiratory and pulmonary illnesses, and we're allowing all of the Doctors to meet a range of patients to get the 'inside scoop' if you will, on what it's like living with said illnesses. They've all been given patients of different ages, genders etcetera, and you've been assigned to Doctor Cullen." she explained.

Cass sat there for a minute, letting this new information sink in. After a few more minutes of chit chat, her nurse left and she was alone with her thoughts once more. A part of her was dreading the whole encounter; she'd had too many awkward experiences with old doctors that bored her to tears and she wasn't looking for any more, but there was a small feeling of excitement bubbling up inside of her at the prospect of just having someone different to talk to - at this point any company was good company. With that thought, she set down her discarded cheerios and began to get ready for Doctor Cullen.

———————————————————————————Hey guys! This chapter is sort of a tester/interest check I guess? I didn't want to write loads and loads to find no one was interested so please let me know if you like the sound of this and if I should keep going because I do have a storyline planned out! I'll be updating soon if this gets a good response and like always, PM me for anything :)
~love, AM <3