California Gold

Chapter 17 // Waiting

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ramon whispered, his arms around Ally.

"I didn't have the words," tears slipped down Ally's cheeks. "What have I done? I'm so scared."

"Don't be scared, boo," Ramon rubbed her arm. "Everything is going to be okay. And we're going to get you some help."

"I can't do that. Do you know what a scandal that would be? If Jack and I both went to rehab less than a year apart? I just can't even believe we got to this point."

"Not rehab, then," Ramon said slowly. "But we have to do something, Al."

"I know," she whispered.

"Does Jack know?"

"Know what?"

"I don't know. Anything?"

Ally had known this question was coming, but she was still humiliated at the answer. "No," she murmured. "At first, I felt like he shouldn't get to know anything about my life anymore. Then it was just guilt. And fear, because he already tried to kill himself once, and I didn't know if he could handle who I've become."

"He's your husband. Handling you is like, his whole job," they chuckled at that. "But seriously. He's gotten help. He's not the man he was when he made the attempt. You have to give him a chance to help you, now."

"I'm a week clean now," Ally said sternly. "I think I can keep that up. I don't want to burden Jack with this. Please."

Ramon studied her carefully. "I'm not sure about this, Al..."

"Please," she pleaded. "I'll stay clean. If you catch me slipping, by all means shout it from the rooftops. But I know I can do this. And Jack doesn't need this stress. Not on top of his depression, and Jon, and Bobby. I owe him this break. I'm not an addict like Jack was, they just made everything a little easier. But I can stand on my own two feet."

"Jack didn't take them for the taste, Ally," Ramon sighed. "I love you, so I'm going to respect your feelings on this. But please, don't make me regret this. I can't lose you."

"You won't," she smiled, and kissed Ramon on the cheek. "I have to head back, Bobby's being taken into surgery soon. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll see you after. And this time, you're not jetting off to Europe without me!"

xxx

Jack was sitting outside Bobby's room when Ally returned. "Hey, where have you been?"

"Ramon came to see me and we were catching up, and I figured you two could use some time together anyway. How is he?"

"Nervous," Jack admitted, "not that he'll ever admit that out loud."

The couple walked into the room. Bobby was turned away from them, gazing out over Los Angeles. "Crazy that this may be one of the last things I'll ever see."

"Shut the hell up," Jack chastised his elder brother. "We'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Jack," Bobby looked at him, his face gravely serious. "I gotta tell you something."

"Go for it."

"You, too, Ally, so listen up," he cleared his throat. "I have high hopes for this procedure, don't get me wrong. But there's something I have to say to you two, just in case. I'm not one to get all mushy, so you'd better heed what I'm telling you.

"If something goes wrong in there, you don't get to fall apart. Neither of you. Jack, I swear to God if I see you in hell before it's truly your time, I'll torment you for eternity. When things get hard, you're supposed to lean on each other. You don't get to drink yourself to death, or pop pills until you forget your name. I need to know that if I pass," the words were heavy in his throat, "that you two won't make a big ass mess of your lives. I love you. Both of you. And even if I can't be here to whip your asses into shape, you'd better live your lives like I'm watching you. Because I will be."