She smiles into the flames;

Alone?

After her passing, nothing changed at home. A few months after, it was like nothing had ever happened.

Then Malene got pregnant with my little brother Magnus.

When Magnus was born, Malene's wishes for our little family changed. She wanted a big loving family, but I couldn't be a part of it. (I think she knew/knows that my mom is the love of my father's life, and therefore wanted me gone. I think she saw me as an obstacle for her to have that perfect family, because I remind her and my father of my mother). So she started to convince my father that I should only be at their house every other weekend, because two kids were too much for her. So I started only visiting them every other weekend.

A year later, Malene started to act weird towards me.

My dad worked a lot (and still does) so he was always sleeping or at work when I was at their house.

The second my father would walk out the door to go to work, Malene's behavior towards me would change. She would start ignoring me, be mean and lowkey treat me like a pet.

I was not allowed to sit on the couch (only a wooden chair) . She wouldn't help me with getting a plate when dinner was ready, so I spent most nights when I was at their house eating out of a dirty cup or not at all. Then she would make me clean up the kitchen, and yell at me for not knowing how to do the little things such as vacuuming and the dishes. I was five years old.

At my mothers, everything was not going as well either... Carla's biological mother ,Ida, had full custody over her, and Carla therefore only came to our house every other weekend (but it was coordinated so we would spend every other weekend together at my mom's). 

Ida - Carla's mother - Was an alcoholic with huge mental problems. Carla once sent me pictures of her mother's apartment, and I've never seen so much mess in my life. You couldn't see the floor, and all the trash almost reached her knees. Carla was sent to school without food, clean close and an empty backpack. Her mother wouldn't even walk her to school, or show up at any parenting meetings. My mother sent money to one of Carla's teachers, for her to buy lunch for Carla, so she wouldn't starve all day. Ida would also make Carla help her steal from different shops, because she didn't have any money for food.

So while everything that was going on at my dad's started to escalate, my mother was fighting Ida in court trying to get custody over Carla. So all attention was on Carla.