(Y/N)
Little did Dan know, in those three months, I'd changed.
I had changed so, so much.
It surprised me, that Dan didn't notice the weight I'd lost, or the paleness of my porcelain skin.
And, many other things, as well.
I guess someone finally noticed, one evening.
"(Y/N), you hungry?" Elise called from the kitchen.
"Not really, I had a lot of coffee to drink earlier, so I'm not in the mood," I lied.
Silence.
"You.. Sure?" She asked, walking into my lounge, where I sat curled up on the brown recliner, covered by a purple blanket.
My stomach churned.
"Well, maybe a little," I gave in.
She fixed me a small sandwhich, as we had to go shopping as soon as we could.
She had gotten a full-time job at a bookstore and coffee shop-- the one I had tried to get in at.
I greedily ate the sandwhich, quickly.
In the back of my mind, I heard a raspy voice.
You're never going to stop eating, are you?
I shuttered, taking my saucer into the kitchen, then to the bathroom.
I locked the door stealthily.
Leaning over the open toilet, I stuck a finger down my throat, toward my uvula.
My reflexes kicked in, and stomach released my last meal into the clean bowl.
"If it doesn't digest, I won't get fatter," I thought.
I wet a rag from the stack in the closet, and wiped my spit-covered mouth.
I flushed the toilet, my vomit spiraling down the hole.
You're disgusting, you should just-
I slapped myself.
I ripped open the bottom drawer of the sink, grabbing a silver, somewhat rusty box cutter.
I slid off the covering, and tossed it near the trash.
I took out the metal blade, and rolled up my left sleeve.
Barely noticeable scars from my teenage years were faded into my almost cotton ball-white skin.
"Time to recreate the past," I whispered faintly to myself.
I gently took the blade and slid it across my forearm horizontally.
Not too deep, not too high, we're not there yet- just keep doing i-.
The voice stopped again as I slid a few more times.
I grabbed the damp rag once more.
Harshly, I scrubbed the dots of blood away.
I covered my arm once more, and put the blade beneath some Windex that we'd never used, and probably never would.
I walked out, turning off the light as I did.
Elise was vacuuming her bedroom with her earbuds in, making her oblivious to her surroundings.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Dan.
YOU ARE READING
And a Pinch of Love (a Dan Howell x Reader Fanfiction)
Fanfictiondaniel howell x reader - So much of this fucking story is a mess, I apologize. It was my first fic, written when I was TWELVE, and it's so cringe worthy. I haven't bothered to edit or change anything, just for the fact that it's so terrible, I don't...