Lucifer's Queen

Chapter 4

*Erica's pov*

The tension was thick in the air, mingling with our inhale breath as an awkward silence wrapped around us. Lost in the mid of being aware of my surrounding and the earlier incident, I blankly stared into the darkness, listening to the sound of foot steps. Tae was pacing back and forth, not knowing how to break the silence. They suggested that I should take a nap cause I was shaken up from the event, but mind is too restless for it and knowing me Taehyung decided to escort me to the room so we can talk. I am surprised his wife just smiled at him approving his idea instead of feeling insecure and give that oh so famous jealousy stares. 

"Say something princess!"

"Don't call me that!" Those words escaped from my mouth even before I could register it, giving the bitter taste of it. He stopped pacing at my words and glanced at my hunched posture in the bed. I feel so small in this huge room and seeing him after months makes me want to scurried away even more from the reality.

"Do you hate me now?" For the first time his voice sounded so small and that made me look at him. He was standing there looking at me with a look of guilt and pain. Like my words just stabbed his heart. Tears welled up on my eyes immediately, blurring the vision. My lower lip trembled, ready to let out the ugly wailing that I pent up all these time. 

"You left me Tae! You left me." Tears streamed down from my eyes flowing down my cheeks. An instant he was there, sitting right in front of me and cupping my face gently from his both warm palms.

"I never left your side princess. I was always there, but I choose not to show myself." He mumbled softly, wiping away my tears, though it escaped as silent whimpers.

"Why?"

He scooted closer, pulling my face to stare deep into my eyes, forcing down his calmness on me through the gaze. His eyes glistened with love just like usual as well as mine. But his love wasn't same as mine. I know it now. My dumb 17 years old self fooled me, leaving a heartbroken mess and up to this date I am trying to come out from that misery. 

"Love is when you fall for someone among thousand dear. It is when you only think about one person when there are thousand people who occupies your mind. It is when you are waiting to talk to that particular person, avoiding all other conversation. It's a choice princess." He brushed away a hair strand which stubbornly fell on my face, disturbing my vision. I felt the warmth of his palms leaving my cheeks and soon engulfing my small hands. "I wasn't your choice but rather a fulfilling of your seeking for love and protection. You had only me other than your mother Erica. So the way you feel for me, you misunderstood it." I scrunched my face like a confused kid who trying to understand the difference between each letter of alphabet. 

"Sure you love me and it's stronger than what you feel for a friend, but not as strong as what Hui-mang feel for me. Tell me did you hate her or cursed her when you heard she is my mate?" I instantly shook my head horrified at his question. How could I hate someone who had done nothing, but just simply being friendly? "Did you even for once plot in your mind to split us apart?" Once again I slowly shook my head. "So you didn't feel jealous but instead sad of being kept away in the dark. If you love me in a romantic way, why didn't you feel jealous princess?" I listened to him carefully, letting every word sink in. "You was only sad and heartbroken, thinking you loosed me, but you didn't. I am here!" Oh how I yearned to hear those words. To know he won't leave me and always be there by my side. 

Suddenly he let go of my hands and pulled away, sitting in the corner of bed and patted his lap with a warm smile. I know what he meant by heart. I had seen that gesture so many times before. Muffling my cries and sniffing away the heaviness of my heart, I inched closer laying my head on his lap. As in instincts, my body responded to the gesture, completely relaxing under his warmth. His hands find its way on my head and started stroking it gently just like he used to do in that park under the big oak tree, letting me take a nap and waiting there for hours until I wake up.