HotWings

Just Be Friends

Everyone had peeled away, leaving Hawks some space as he stared at Aika with a heavy heart.
She totally fucking knew he was back to being nothing more than a cutter.
Fuck.
Hawks cleared his throat, breaking the silence.
"Did you see my ass?"
She stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing.
Soon, the whole room was laughing with them, making the air a little less heavy.
"What the hell do you do to fans?" Spinner choked.
Hawks shot him a glare.
"You guys are the ones who decided broadcasting me naked was a good idea! What was Shigaraki thinking? 'If I put famous dick in the thumbnail people will click to finally know the size'?"
Shigaraki let out a low hiss and took out his phone, starting a video.
"What's up cure seekers? Handyman here with Emo boi, Ninja Turtle, Mr.Marble, Bloody Mary, and small dick-"
"Can we not talk about that?" Aika broke in, shivering in discomfort. Her cheeks were red and she looked so done with the conversation.
Dabi laughed, ruffling her hair.
"Come on, kid, you me and Hawks need to have a little talk."
Hawks swallowed nervously.
What did Dabi want?
He didn't really feel like explaining himself to anyone- especially not his ex or his biggest fan.
What was he going to say?
Dragging his feet, he followed the other two out the door and into the alley.
The stapled man sat down on the concrete, patting the spot beside him.
Aika took it, leaving the hero to sit across from them both.
The feeling of being a cage bird with clipped wings was overwhelming. This was so much like the many lectures he'd gotten from Mr.Commission and the president of the group for being 'too imature' or acting out. Truth be told he was just a kid being a kid.
But he wasn't supposed to be a kid. He was supposed to be a mindless worker for their cause.
Stupid commission...
Turquoise and hazel cut through him with razor sharp precision.
"Suicide isn't a fucking answer," Dabi finally said.
"Well, actually it is-"
"Shut up." Aika had her hands clenched into fists and tears in her eyes. "Hawks, I stopped cutting because you asked me to. You gave me a hope that I lacked. So why are you giving up?"
He dropped his eyes to the ground, unable to meet her gaze. There were pebbles along where he was sitting, moistened by some sort of liquid or another.
How interesting...
"Hawks." Her voice was more firm now.
The hero stood. "I don't want to talk about this."
Dabi grabbed him, pulling him back down. "Well fuck what you want. You're going to talk with us about it."
He folded his arms begrudgingly. "I won't talk."
Aika wiped a tear, sniffling softly.
Dabi glanced over at her.
"You go back inside for a sec, okay?"
She was about to protest but the dark haired man shook his head, snapping his fingers and pointing her back indoors.
She obeyed with slumped shoulders.
"Okay big guy," Dabi growled, gripping Hawks's arm and yanking him painfully to his feet.
"Ow- fuck!" The hero grumbled, screwing his eye shut.
"Suck it up."
He stumbled along as the stapled man lead him along deeper into the alley. His arm was shrieking in pain, the jacket digging into his cuts where the other man was pressing down.
After what felt like forever, the grip on his arm was gone and he was shoved lightly, his back hitting the brick wall.
Dabi boxed him in with his arms, just watching him.
"Listen, Bird. I'm only gonna say this once, got it?"
The hero nodded.
"Good. I fucking love you. I really do. But that doesn't change the fact that our relationship was built on lies. Trying to kill yourself was a stupid move. Do you know how scared I was?"
"I-"
"Shut the fuck up- I'm not done." He held a silencing hand over Hawks's mouth. "Since it was all a lie and you're clearly way too mentally unstable to work with right now- we won't be getting back together."
Hawks hung his head, tears burning his eyes. Of course they wouldn't be getting back together. That's not how life worked.
Dabi's hand moved and his lips replaced it. It was a gentle and sad kiss. It was a ghost of what they had.
"Birdie, I don't want you out if my life- so for now, let's just be friends."
And with that, he walked away.
As soon as he was out of sight, the hero slid down the wall, bringing his knees to his chest and weeping softly over everything that had happened.

...

A part of Dabi knew there was a chance Hawks would try to commit again as soon as he left, but he couldn't stand being around him- it hurt too bad.
Looking the hero in the face was hard because half his beautiful face was now ruined by burns.
Don't get him wrong, he really wanted to go back to the way things were- but that just wasn't possible, and he had to face that.
Once back at the bar he thanked Aika for her help and shoved her through Kurogori's portal, dropping her back off where he had found her.
After she was gone he had wound up in a big argument with Shigaraki that ended with the bar having huge scorch marks in its floor. They cussed each other out until they were literally saying the first stupid thing that came to mind. Finally having had enough bullshit, Dabi stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him.
Fuck everything.
He laid on the lumpy mattress, plugging his headphones in and setting his playlist to shuffle.
The song called Spotlight by Lil Peep started in his ears and he closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

Sex with you is like a dream in that I just wanna hear you scream again...

Now you're gone I can't believe it-
The time I spent with you deceiving me.

I don't-

Nope. Nope.
Nope.
He yanked the headphones out, shaking his head.
All he could think about was Hawks and the damn song wasn't changing that.
Maybe...
Maybe it was time to find that disk Hawks mentioned in his journal...