I started working
It's hard but I always loved to work in a hospital. But my mental health got in the way.
I am closer to death than ever, not because of myself but because of the people around me.
Most of my patients die because of their age or disease.
Update:
I am so stressed out from work.
I love to work there, but I am so stressed out, at work I am cheerful, hard working, but at home. Idk. I feel like im nothing.
It feels like I only life to work, and thats what terrifies me the most.
I didnt want ever to feel that way.
Today is day three of seven, its only the start after my holiday, but my holidays was not long, only seven days, Weekend included.
We are understaffed as hell, yesterday two called in sick, who would have had shift in the afternoon, now we have five people who are sick, who all wouldve work this week, now we are exhausted, we seek as many people we can, from others stations, even from higher up.
When I get home I'm so emotionless that I come off annoyed, sometimes this only annoys me, then when I calmed Down, i only am sad, exhausted and need someone to talk.
But I annoyed my Family so much, that they Think they would only annoy me if they Talk to me, which saddens me more.
Right now im sitting in my wardrobe because its the only place where its quiet.
I am the most loved right now, but also the most hated.
