Lost Into The Stars

TOO GOOD AT GOODBYES

6/5

10:45pm, Oct 2, 2020

Cold breeze. Peaceful night. Romantic ambiance. Same day, same place, same feelings.

I look at the sky. There are countless of stars scattered on it. Only that they are not shining so bright. I look at the man beside me who is now staring back at me. He smiles sweetly and kisses my forehead. I lean onto his shoulders and soothes my ears to the sound of the crickets. It is so calming.

'Wake up, mommy!'

I slowly open my eyes. It's quite difficult because the sun rays are peeking. They're blocking the view of my beautiful daughter who is now shaking my shoulders to wake up. I must have slept while listening to the nature.

'Daddy, mommy's now awake!'

'Morning, sleepyhead!'. He smiles warmly as he carries our daughter. He ushers towards me to kiss my cheek.

'Daddy, look! A butterfly!', she pushes his arms, wanting to go down. He then puts her down. He's shaking his head lightly as he is amused by our daughter's action, 'be careful, baby'.

I look at our daughter. She looks so happy as she tries to lure the butterfly on to her cute little finger. She's my greatest gift. My star in the morning.

'Happy anniversary, babe!'. He is now carrying a bouquet of flowers. I get it from his hand and kiss his lips. He's quite surprised but eventually claim my lips fully and deepen the kiss. Perfect.

Beep. The sound of my alarm.

I draw back my lips so he stops from kissing me. Our daughter is yelling for help now so he looks at my eyes and I nod in return. He quickly attends to her after.

I open my phone to snooze the alarm.

5:01am, Oct 3, 2020.

Same time, same day, same place, different feelings.

'Good morning, love! It has been three years since you left to be with God. Can you still remember my answer as to why I was scared? I lied, love. I wasn't scared of the thought that you will not love me the next morning. I was scared knowing that you can't be with me for the next mornings that we will share. I knew back then, love. I knew about your sickness. Why didn't you tell me, huh? We're you scared to tell me? We're human after all right? It's fine to be scared. You said that! I wished you have told me before. I wouldn't be feeling like this. You left me. You left me to suffer alone. How selfish are you! I was in pain but see that,' I glance my way to my approaching daughter and husband, 'she's the brightest thing since the lonely night that you left me. She has the same smile like yours. And see that man? He saved me. He saved me from the misery. His eyes mirror the truth. They may don't shine like yours but they have guided my lonely nights. I guess this will be the last time that I will come here. I was trying my best to move on and I guess, I'm fine now. And yes, I have forgiven you for not telling me the truth. I don't have regrets in being yours before. I was the happiest when I'm with you. Too bad, you left so early. I'm happy now, I hope you, too. Im freeing you from my heart. Goodbye, love! Happy 3rd Anniversary!