i wish i just slept. // minchan

[1]

↬ Chan ❝???❞

↦ 2:14 a.m.

when you enter a relationship, shouldn't you be ready for the day that you might encounter a break up?

no, definitely not

break ups are bound to happen, problems are inevitable, there's no perfect relationship so why would you dwell on a break up?

you are right about that but you enter a relationship thinking and believing that it won't end, you'll be with that person 'til the end, so having a break up is something that would certainly affect someone

why would you get sad and miserable when you are the one who broke up with them? shouldn't you have no right?

you have the right to feel sad and miserable even if you are the one who decided to break up, there are situations that would leave you with no choice, situations that would only be solved with a break up, especially if it's for the sake of the two of you

but there are plenty fishes in the pond, why cry for one person?

maybe if we're all fishes, that'd make sense, you can't find someone who's the same exact everything of the one you love/d

all of those unanswered questions i once had seeing people in a relationship breaking up are now finally answered, by me

there's this thing that says, you can also learn from other people's experiences, but there surely are lessons that you would only learn if you went through it yourself

hi? it's your boy christopher- i mean chan

it's already past 2 a.m., and as you can tell, i'm still awake

should i sleep? or should i just not?

i can't stop looking at minho's ig feed

who is he you say?

hm.. how should i word it..

the love of my life?

that one i could give everything for his happiness?

someone i loved (?) more than myself?

my strength and charger?

uhh.. no.

the best word to use right now..

he's my ex

we broke up not long ago

two years is not that long, right?

don't disagree, let me clown myself

what? why? when? where? how? 
i'll answer one by one since i have nothing to do for now

what and when are answered already

why, because of me, that's the shortest answer

where, at the place where we first met, wanna know where? continue 

how? of course i told him why i am breaking up 

how he reacted? he was sobbing. wait, no. at first, it was like it's nothing for him, he kept on asking me to stop joking around because it's not funny, he even ride with it thinking it was a prank, but when i stayed silent, he started tearing up, and end up sobbing. 

i couldn't do anything, i was the cause again of him crying, i stayed strong and didn't cry when he was asking for me to just stay, but eventually cried the whole night. 

okay. now that i'm saying this, i can clearly remember how he was sobbing, how he couldn't speak for crying too much, how he sounded so sad and in pain. i hate doing this. 

why am i even writing this on my laptop as if i'd give it to someone and wait for that person to read this. 

i'm hungry, i'll continue typing after eating

yes laugh at me typing this as if it's my mind

[later..]

sometimes, i wonder, if we're both thinking about each other at this time. 

or anytime. 

but that's just impossible, he's most likely already asleep right now. 

it's funny how i sleep by the time he'll wake up..

*phone vibrating*

"who's calling at this hour?"