The Cigars

Sour Auditions

"Okay, welcome those who decided to show up." Stan looked at the four people in front of him, a dirty blonde haired boy, the chubby boy named Eric Cartman, and a curly haired ginger. He recognized the boy with a mullet as Kenny McCormick, surprised he actually shown up. There was a girl also, otherwise known as Stans ex, Wendy Testaburger. He looked at her, disappointingly. He looked back at the men, sighing

"First off, I have to see your skills. Eric can do the drums pretty well." He looked over at Butters, who nodded

"Heʼs" already in, seeing you can't bring drums to a garage two streets away" He looked over at the ginger, "Whats your name?"

"Kyle. Kyle Broflovski" He said in a tired yet awake tone.

"Stan Marsh" He shook his hand before looking around his garage, only seeing his bass and guitar. " You can play bass or guitar?"

Kyle searched his mind, "I think I took lessons back in fourth grade? I can try one of them."

Stan picked up his guitar, giving it to Kyle as he reached out for it. Kyle took the guitar, putting his hands on the navy blue fret board, his fingers began surfing through the strings, sounding wretched and sullen. Kenny put his hands on his knees, taking the guitar out of his hands.

"You're doing it wrong, Kyle" He put his left hand on the neck of the guitar, his other hand on the body, taking a deep breath

He immediately thought of a song, seeming to wave his fingers, notes filled others ears. Kenny took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"Don't sing if you want to live long, they have no use for your song" His playing was soft as he sang

"You'll get a second chance, plan all of your moves in advance" Kenny began lightly tapping his foot while playing , as the song finished with

"You're dead, you're dead and outta this world" He let out a sigh, wiping his forehead while giving Stan his guitar. Butters was standing beside Stan, immediately saying

"You're in, no second thoughts" Stan would say this, as the others clapped.

"And the nameʼs" Kenny, but you should know that if you follow Karaoke like a certain Stan" He said before sitting down. He didn't have to stay, he already made it in but he had a crush on a certain blond standing by Stan. Stan picked up the bass, handing it to Kyle,

"Sorry about him, anyways try this.." Wendy looked at Stan offended, shouldn't ladies go first?!? She thought, as Kyle began playing the Bass. That kid couldn't sing so he just hummed the lyrics. Everyone could tell what he was playing Hound Dog. His playing was actually nice, which wasn't expected since his guitar playing skills were like nails on a chalkboard. Stan clapped,

"Did great Kyle, and now we're onto" He paused, sighing "Wendy," Stan said looking at her, as she stood up smiling, holding her flute. Everyone knows a flute doesn't go well with the other instruments. She began playing some unholy song, they couldn't decode what it was. It was that bad. As she finished Kenny blurted out

"If you suck dicks like you play a flute then i'm glad to be gay." He glanced at the clearly pissed of Wendy before saying ''for legal reasons, that's a joke"

"I- Well, your guitar playing was like world war two!" She shouted, Kenny rolled his eyes

Kenny looked her dead in the eyes "Your flute was like a fire alarm, fucking annoying and shrieking" He crossed his arms as Stan yelled at them to knock it off. But that didn't stop Wendy from saying

"Your guitar playing sucks like your outfit!" Kenny was wearing a striped button up with a fish net shirt. He was angry at her, he spent hours piecing this together.

"Did it hurt falling down the whore tree? Fucking everyone on the way down?" he replied in a snarky tone, Wendy remained silent. "Thats what I thought" Kenny said crossing his arms. Cartman was struggling to fight a snicker

"Now that" he faked a cough ''bitch is quiet, I can say what I am going to end this with" He put his hands together "Well! Me and Leopold over here will discuss you all and when we're finished we'll let you know at the Jerry Thomas project bar next Monday" Stan waved at them as they left his grease covered garage. He couldn't wait to see his future band mates, he was still sure this would be great.