year 2020.

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i know this book should be about music but i'm turning it into more of a diary.

2020 is a crazy fucking year. but a lot has happened. I graduated, started college, and then decided it wasn't my time so I dropped out. A common misconception- just because you aren't in college or you dropped out doesn't make you a failure. you have one life, don't live it the way people want you to. That's something I had to work on- I wouldn't say i have my shit together but I'm Happy. I still deal with depression- it's something I'll always have to deal with but that's just a life that i have to live with. You see tho - depression changes over the years. you don't feel constant sadness, throughout your whole day- it only creeps in during the night. eventually depression takes your inability to feel. You're just numb. you don't feel sad- you just don't feel anything. it sucks a lot but I'm finding ways to cope with it. i Had a really bad episode early this year but despite all the shit going on rn- in my life and the world. I think I may have finally found the end of the dark "endless" tunnel. :)

I'm a totally different person. I have amazing people in my life. I'm living life the way I want to. I'm being me and unapologetically. way to go me! now that^^ is that i call a glow up. ☺️

dear me -
i'm so proud of you. you don't understand. as you always say to people, do you boo and be happy.

love, yourself aka mensa :)

June 22nd, 2020. oh and happy birthday to my brother. love you beyond words. ik you won't see this but i sent you a message.

i may or may not post a music list eventually, we will see.

take care.

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