Sidnaaz -Jeene bhi de ye duniya humein.. (Drowned in darkness, confined in pain)

Chapter 5

Sana put her head in Sid's lap she was shattered beyond limits listening to the allegations her loved ones threw at her, she understand that they are mad at her but what their child has done? Because of what all of them are hating the unborned child, the life has not even taken the birth then how could they think so negative of the child, she placed her palm on her belly.

Sid knew what was she going through right now even he was shocked how could they say such harsh words to her and that too when she is already facing such trauma.

Sid- baby kya soch rahi hai ?

Sana - tujhe bhi aisa lagta tha ki ye bachha ....matlab ....ki maine ....tujhe ...wo ..

Sid stopped her in middle - kya bole jaa rahi hai  pagal ho gai hai itne din se mai tere saath hoon tu abhi bhi ye sab puch rahi hai koi kami chodi hai maine tujhe yakeen dilane mein ya kuch aisa kiya ki tu aisa soch rahi hai .

Sana- nahi nahi tune to mujhe sambhala hai mai to kho deti apne aap ko agar tu nahi hota par aaj jo kuch bhi hua uske baad mai koi bhi doubts nahi rakhna chahti kyuki future mein kya hoga pta nahi mai nahi jaanti ki humare ghar wale kabhi mujhe accept karenge ya nahi par mai nahi handle kar paungi ye sab nahi bilkul nahi mai khud pr aaye to shayad jhel jaungi par ab baat sirf meri nahi hai humare bache ki bhi hai wo nanhi si jaan jo mere ander hai wo ...uski koi galti nahi hai shyad tujhe kabhi future mein jaake kabhi regret ho to isliye puch rahi hoon tu chahe to abhi chod sakta hai mujhe mai kuch nahi bolungi kabhi teri life mein wapas nahi aaungi tujhe humari wajazh se koi problem bhi nahi hogi ...

Sid stopped her and get up from bed- meri galti kya hai ye to bta de tu mujhe chod ke jaana chahti hai jo bhi hua maanta hoon bohot galat hua par maine kuch nahi kia hai jaan hai tu meri mai marr jaunga sun rahi hai tu kyu aisa bol rahi hai .maine kya bola hai aisa  bta maine tujhe kuch bola kya mai tujhe nahi jta paya ki mai tujhse kitna pyaar karta hoon kya tujhe lagta hai ki teri baaton ko samajhne ke liye tujh pr wishvas karne ke liye mujhe koi saboot chaiye nahi ..nahi aisa bilkul nahi hai tu duniya ki sabse saaf dil insaan hai tu mujhse jitna pyaar karti hai koi nahi kar sakta mai nahi bol pata hoon nahi express kar pata hoon pane aap ko par tu mere bina bole humesha mujhe samajh jaati hai mai kuch bolu usse pehle tu mere saath hoti hai aur aaj se nahi jis din se hum mile hai uss din se tab to hum ek doosre ko jaante bhi nahi the par tune jaise meri rooh ko padh liya ho .

Maine kitna push kina tujhe taaki meri attachment na ho tujhse  par tune humesha koi na koi rasta nikala hi hai humein saath rakhne ka galtiyaan hui hai mujhse bohot hui hai agar tu nahi hoti to mai kabka kho chuka hota khud ko par tune mujhe waha sambhala jaha tujhe khud bhi nahi pta tha ki humara rishta kya hai hum kabhi saath honge ya nahi humara future hoga ya nahi kuch nahi pta tha par tu thi mere liye humesha thi jab bhi thi aaj bhi hai mai nahi jaanta ki mai kya bolu tujhe aisa ki tujhe yakeen aaye ki mai bhi tujhpr pura bharosa karta hoon chahe koi kuch bhi bole par tu kya hai mai  janta hoon .

Tere mere beech mein kabhi iss ki jaroorat nahi hui ki humein explain karna pade to aaj kyu mai aaj bhi wahi bol raha hoon jo tab bola tha ki mai tujh par aakhen band karke wishvas karta hoon tu kabhi kuch galat kar hi nahi sakti hai mai uss bhi jaanta tha aur aaj bhi jaanta hoon tu meri sana hai meri tu kabhi mere saath aisa karna to door aisa soch bhi nahi sakti aur mujhe tujh par khud se jyada yakeen hai koi bhi galat ho sakta hai mai khud bhi galti kar sakta hoon par tu kabhi nahi kar sakti .

Aur rahi baat humare bachhe ki to mai nahi jaanta ki tu aisa soch bhi kaise sakti hai ki mai tujhe jaane dunga khud se door tujhe aur humare bachhe ko tu life hai meri mai nahi bardasht kar paunga tu aur ab humara bachha bohot maayene rakhte hai mere liye mai kuch bhi kar jaaunga kisi se bhi lad jaunga tum dono ke liye par tujhse kaise ladunga bta 

Sana- mai jaanti hoon tu mujh par bohot bharosa karta hai aur b pyaar bhi bohot karta hai mujhe uss par koi doubt nahi hai par baat meri nahi hai sirf yaha ek nanhi si jaan bhi hai ab humare saath to usse bhi to dhyaan mein rakh kar faisla lena hoga na mai nahi bol rahi ki tujhe yakeen nahi hai mujh par yaa humare bachhe par ,lekin aaj jo bhi hua mujhe nahi lagta wo log kabhi bhi mujhe ya iss bachhe ko accept karenge to kya tu reh lega maa ke bina .