Hard to Escape

Chapter 39

I actually did remember the first time I met Yin Li. After our trip to Mexico, I had already regained that memory. It's just that I didn't want to say.

It was a day in autumn. The climate had been changing rapidly. After a bout of rain, it suddenly became a lot colder. My mother had been invited to Germany by a friend, so I was left alone in Paris.

At that time in ballet school, we were confined to our practice rooms. I didn't have any way to buy thicker winter clothes. The other girls all had relatives to send over warm coats. Only Yin Xuan and I didn't. Yin Xuan had come alone to Paris to pursue ballet, and she didn't have any relatives here either.

Every time I saw her thin clothes, I don't know why, but I felt comforted. I wasn't alone.

However, this illusion was quickly broken. One afternoon, she came in wearing a thick, expensive overcoat. That was the first time I knew she had money and a brother who loved her.

"Oh, Yin Xuan? She's from the Yin family. Yin Li is her brother. I saw him yesterday. He was so handsome and kind. When he saw Yin Xuan, he wrapped a scarf around her. Just now I saw him at the practice studio. It seems like he's waiting for her to finish practicing before taking her out to eat."

Then, I saw Yin Li. He really was a handsome young man. His expression was a bit cold. Yin Xuan walked over with a skip in her step and his face couldn't help but blossom into a smile that could melt ice and snow. I saw him stretch his hand out to rub Yin Xuan's nose. Yin Xuan laughed and hooked her arm around his elbow. Under his doting, indulgent gaze, she laughed and talked the whole way out.

That was the first time I knew what jealousy felt like.

Before, no matter how glamorous the events Yin Xuan attended, I remained indifferent and steeled myself into numbness. I gave up a social life, and thus had stronger ballet skills. But once I saw her family and how loved she was, my heart was poisoned by jealousy.

After that, Yin Li appeared constantly. Sometimes he would look at Yin Xuan dance with the most doting expression. Other times he would quietly listen to her grumble and complain. Every time he appeared, the female ballet students would flush red to the tips of their ears and itched to chat him up.

Even according to Western standards of beauty, he was a tall, handsome man, with the exotic bearing that Westerners love.

It was only till one day, during dusk, that I encountered Yin Li. I was still wearing my practice outfit and shoes. I walked through the hallway and saw Yin Li standing in the lounge. He was probably a bit tired of waiting and came out to get some air. I then saw him light a cigarette. The last rays of the sun were cast upon his body, and he looked out the window pensively.

He had a beautiful pair of eyes.

I don't know what came over me in that moment, but I found myself walking towards the lounge. Yin Li heard a sound and turned his head. He heedlessly threw me a glance. I gritted my teeth, mustered my courage, and leaped lightly in front of him.

With a harsh demeanor, I snatched the cigarette from his mouth. He stared at me in shock.

"Monsieur, this entire area is a no-smoking zone," I said in French, directing a provoking look at him. I threw his cigarette on the ground, and then crushed it under my foot.

If my mother had seen me then, she would have gone mad. She had spent so many years painstakingly instilling in me the grace and elegance of a refined lady. She would have never thought that I would use such an unbridled, impolite method to chide a smoker.

I knew this departed from what I was taught. But in that moment, my heart was devilishly overjoyed. I was like a freed demon, evil yet merry.

I shouldn't have treated Yin Li that way, but I resented his sister out of jealousy. My resentment was so strong that I even resented him. I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to treat him this way.