Christopher To Christina: An Answered Prayer

13. Completion

After finishing high school as Christina, and I started college. During the application process I applied for, and miraculously, was awarded a scholarship that was generous enough we would actually be able to hold on to most of the money Mommy had been putting away for college. This scholorship would pay all tuition, and books, so room and food were all we had to pay.

The scholorship was good for all four years, provided my grade point average was 3.0 or better in each class.

I can promise, you've never seen a girl appreciate a gift more than I did that scholorship, and I worked hard to ensure I maintained the GPA needed to keep it.

Now, this didn't mean I only stayed locked in my dorm room, studying 24/7. That just wouldn't be healthy or sustainable. I didn't party or stay out late, ever, but I did have a little bit of a social life.

During my first year of college I quickly discovered the guys there were more adventurous than high school guys and more wiling to step out of their comfort zone to try new things.

I also found myself more outgoing in college than I was in high school and my personality, along with direct eye contact, confidence, and how I was able to connect with guys in ways other girls never could, seemed to attract plenty who wanted to date the thick girl with the gorgeous smile, air of confident maturity, amazing personality, and infectious laugh.

Having insider knowledge about guys, knowledge other girls would never have, gave me an advantage over them that I used as much as possible.

This turned into another opportunity to put money away, since having guys treat me to dinner several times a week, meant I never had to spend my own money for food.

The summer after my first year of college I told Mommy I was ready, I wanted to complete my transformation.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" she asked, but I think she knew.

"I mean I want surgery. I don't need these things."

I pointed between my legs.

"I don't like them, and I want to get rid of them. I want to be a woman, not a chick with a dick. I'm tired of having it between my legs, taunting me, reminding me I'm not 100% who I want to be. Besides, Mommy, I'm an adult now and ready for a long term relationship with a man. I haven't been able to get serious with a guy because using the excuse that I'm on my period only work so long, before he starts to think I'm just making excuses to not be with him."

"Is there a guy you have in mind right now that you want to take the next step with?"

"There was, but he moved on. He desired the physical intimacy I couldn't give him."

I began to cry.

Mommy held me and comforted me and told me I should give Dr. Madison a call.

After a phone conversation with Dr. Madison, I went to see her and we talked. I told her I wished she could have done this right away when I was still a boy. She said it would have been out of the question at that age and that the hormones had been a risky enough proposition.

"But I'm eighteen now, almost nineteen," I pointed out. "I'm legally an adult and I'm past my adolescence."

"You're past most of it," she corrected me, but she had no strong objection. "Do you want me to do the surgery?"

"Yes, Dr. Madison, I want you to do it as soon as possible. It isn't just because you're the top surgeon in this field, although that's important, of course. It isn't just because you're a woman and that it would mean a lot to me to have such an operation performed by a woman. It's that you're a friend, someone who has already saved my life
once, and you're the one person I trust."

She consented, and we scheduled a tentative date: July 9th, which would now be Christina's birthday in yet another way.

"Doc, there's one request I have. I'm sure it's a strange request you've never heard before."

"What it is it? I'll try to accommodate you as best I can."

Can the surgery be done under a local anesthetic? I would like you to do that and put up a mirror in the operating room. I want to see the operation. I want to have the satisfaction of watching the last vestige of my horrible former life, go away."

She gave me a surprised look.

"Oh no, Christina, no. I'm afraid I can't do that. You have to be out cold, under general anesthesia. The complications would be too great. I'm sorry, but it's just not possible. And, you know it isn't just a matter of taking a scissors and going snip-snip-snip. It's a very long and complicated operation. I not only have to remove things, I have to rearrange things, create things; give you labia and a vagina. There's a lot of . . . well, heavy construction that has to be done."

I was sorry to hear this. I'd had my heart set on watching myself being . . .well, being castrated and all my remaining barriers to complete femininity eradicated. I asked her whether she could at least video the operation, and she agreed that absolutely could be done.

Another thing she did for me was to give me an advance look at the operating room.

I saw the operating table and the stirrups above it, and I thought, with a thrill, "MY legs are going to be in those stirrups and that's when the miricle will occur."

The day of the surgery had me feeling a mixture of emotions. I was excited, thrilled to finally be taking the last step to becoming a full woman. However, I was nervous too. I was apprehensive about going under anesthesia. I had read stories about people going under and never waking up.

I talked about it with the doctor before and she assured me I had nothing to worry about, but that wasn't calming all my fears in the moment.

At that moment, I prayed for God to guide the hand of the surgeon in order for her to create feminine perfection and to ensure there were no complications during the procedure.

Doing this gave me an inner peace that calmed all my fears as the nurses prepped me for surgery.

My last memory before the surgery was riding down the hall on a gurney to the operating room. I had already been given a drug to calm me and I was delirious as I sung out at the top of my voice, a rousing rendition of the chorus to, "I Enjoy Being a Girl!"