rants/vents

vent

i feel like i annoy every one around me, like all my friends on wattpad, in real life, my family, everyone. and it's not because of anything they've done, it's just an anxiety i have for some reason, and i guess i just overthink things a lot (i hope).

and it's sucks because i don't want to be an annoying person, i don't want people to not like me, and that may sound conceited, but it's the best way i can explain it. i just feel like if i annoy people why annoy them more and make them dislike me more than they already probably do and then i don't go near them and then i mess up the relationship even more

i also wish i could change my personality. i wanna overthink things less, i wanna have more empathy(random rant warning)

for some reason i've just been feeling emotionally numb, and i want to be a better person, more selfless, more caring and more kind and i just don't want to be a bad person and i don't just want people to like me and me secretly be a bad person if i knew for a fact that i was a good person then i wouldn't care if people disliked me as long as i could make a difference in other people's lives and be nicer and not think about myself and just think of others and that's all i want. i feel like such a shit person sometimes and i just want to stop, everything hurts emotionally and i'm mentally exhausted and overwhelmed and i just want to take a break and not exist for a bit and just go into a new life or something and just kinda chill there for a bit or like another universe that's better than this place.