My Light (Oikawa Tooru)

♔ THREE ♔

From: Kuroo
You know, part of me was hoping that you were telling the truth. But I just felt it in my gut that you were lying. You really are a lying selfish bitch. I hope you're happy, because today you lost two of your closest friends.
You want to run away and do sketchy shit and lie about it to your best friends? Then run away, and stay away. I don't want to see your face anywhere near Tokyo or Nekoma. So don't come showing back when you are in need, because we won't be there to help you. Congratulations Ayame, your officially dismissed from this friendship. But then again it was never really a friendship to you was it? Selfish bitch.

It's been two days since I got that text message from Kuroo. And for those entire two days there has been a piercing pain in my heart that keeps growing by the minute. I have never felt so weighed down in my life. It's as if the trouble I'm in hadn't already been pulling me down enough and now on top of it I have to carry the guilt and shame of abusing my closest friends. But this weight is different from the others. It's so heavy, I feel like I'm suffocating.

I haven't been able to focus on anything for the last two days, I've only been trying to breath. And even though I am sitting outside in the fresh air, my lungs feel as if they are enclosing on each other, refusing to let any oxygen through. I feel like complete and utter shit. What hurts the most is that every word Kuroo said was true. I am a lying selfish bitch. I'm there when I have time and need a friend to hang out with, but when something comes up in my life I run away because I don't want to get them involved. And when they need me, I could never be there for them. They have always been open with me but I continuously shut them out. I've made promises after promises but they always end up the same... Unfulfilled.
The only thing not true in Kuroo's text was when he referred to me not thinking of them as true friends. Of course they are my friends, and I love them from the bottom of my heart. They've been with me almost all my life, and have always been there for me. However I have always shut them out to some extent, all because they can't know the family I come from.

But was it really worth it? I mean, I hurt two of the most precious people left in my life, and all for what? If I had told them couldn't it have maybe worked out?

No... what am I thinking? If I had told them then he would've ruined their lives for sure. There's no way Kuroo would stand by without putting up a fight for me, and there's no way he would let him win. In fact, there is no chance of Kuroo ever wining because he is way too powerful in status, it would be like swatting a fly.

I'm the only one who should deal with him and I will make sure he isn't the one who has the last laugh. Not after all the shit he's put me through my entire life. Not after what he did to my mother. I will get my revenge. And I will do it alone. My face is the last thing he'll see as he watches all the hard work he put into building his businesses and buying shares crumble to dust.

The thought of vengeance is so sweet, but before I can do that, I have to comply and gather up the money to pay that bastard back. I have to do it to save my brother from the hell he's putting him through. I can't run away and leave him behind to suffer like I did before him. I have to save him.

No, I will save him.

___

It's been a while since I ate anything and my stomach is starting to roar at me. I ran out of the snacks I stole at school and need to get myself some real food.

I enter a convenient store and casually start walking around. I see they have a few duffle bags for sale hanging in one of the aisles. I pick up the black one and continue walking around the store. I go to the fridge section and look at the types of sandwiches and wraps they have available. I grab the tuna sandwich, pick up an orange juice, and continue walking towards the snacks aisle.