Inhumane

017

PAIGE

A few hours passed, Rhia left, and I found the courage to venture out into the front room where the Wolf busied himself with stacks of paperwork. It looked like a mess of information, all spread out over the coffee table. An empty mug sat on top of a piece of paper that had financial statements on it. The snow had started up again and I watched it fall outside the window.

He quickly stood when I entered the room, turning to face me. I was once again shocked by the rugged beauty of him: deep gold eyes, tanned skin, dark hair. He was massive looking in the dull winter light, still dark and mischievous as ever. The vivid dreams of my Heat had my heart stuttering against my ribs, I couldn't stop looking at his lips.

"Hello," he greeted.

"Hi," I managed. My stance was faltering with him and I didn't know how to go forward. After the Heat, I couldn't look at him the same. All my eyes could do was undress him. But this vicious part of me wanted to stay mad, to destroy everything in a ten-mile radius. I didn't know which version of myself to trust, it was an ugly in-between.

"How are you feeling?" He gave me his undivided attention when we were talking. Suddenly I remembered looking up at him from the floor, bandaged and wary, holding his hand as I died. His eyes were familiar in an impossible way, his voice was beckoning me into the dark, his hand was on my cheek, tracing the tears. That night was a million years ago. What was I fighting for? I swallowed a lump of tears that came out of nowhere. Looking at him, I couldn't feel anything but the way his gaze warmed my skin.

"Been better," I sat in the armchair by the fire and he hovered where he stood initially. My legs and belly felt hollow and weak from the effects of the Heat. I didn't trust them to hold my weight.

"Are you hungry? Need anything?" His concern was blatant. His spine was straight, no lingering sense of mischief in this conversation. Something had changed.

"Coffee," I responded, looking out the window until he finished making me a cup and brought it over. Taking it into my hands, I was grateful but didn't vocalize it.

The Wolf sat back on the couch and stared over at me while I took a few sips. His eyes could be felt on my mouth, right in the part of my lips. "Do you want to talk about the last few days?"

He was reasonably serious this morning, which both irked and refreshed me. It was annoying that he could always be so warm and happy. I didn't think men had the capacity to smile like he did. Monsters either, I supposed. "Not really," I responded, rubbing the rim of the mug with my thumb. "Your mother was a lot of help." We both knew that I would have added and you weren't, but I was just too tired to bother.

"She's great," the Wolf agreed. "I could have been better."

I raised my brows but didn't look up at him. This was something new.

"I want to have a bond with you, Paige. I want to be the wolf that you come to when you need something or want to talk. I want us to trust each other and live comfortably. Not in this horrible quiet pause where we don't talk, don't trust, and let each other down." Braving a glance, I find that his eyes are right on mine, and he's leaning towards me with intensity. "I have let you down. So, I don't expect anything from you, except that you might eventually trust me and let me in. You're my mate. I will do anything to make this work. I will be better for you, Paige. I promise."

Looking down, I found it was hard to tear my gaze from his. There was this strange feeling in my chest, something like warmth, or giving in. Either way, it was terrifying. I felt exhausted from the previous days, exhausted from my life, exhausted from avoiding this Wolf because I was scared of the feelings he gave me. Exhausted of being scared all the time, of disappointing my father, of finding out over and over that my mother wasn't here and she wasn't ever coming back.