𝑃ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠 | 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑁𝐿𝐼𝑋

𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

Dear pixxie

You used to love flowers
I love that about you
A lot of people thought you were weird because you liked flowers, a boy who likes flowers. I never realized how flowers could be
subject to one gender. But you never cared.
You loved with all your heart, it being whatever you pleased, despite
what other people thought.

Even when it came to sexuality.
People commented dreadful things online after you came out. Even some of the members started treating you differently.
Your hugs weren't Jeongin's favourite anymore
Seungmin didn't stay up all night just to talk with you
Jisung didn't cause mischief with you anymore like true twins
Hyunjin didn't come to you for cuddles and a movie
Changbin no longer lit up when you came in the room, instead he called you
mean names
Minho didn't stay back to goof around with you in the practice room even after practice was over
And I....

I ignored you.

Woojin was the only one who ever truly accept you and he left you. He left us.
He stuck by you through it all and then one day he got up and left...
god did I wish it had been me with you.
I'm such a coward.
None of the members hate you, I think they hate themselves if anything.
We're a mess.

People kill flowers because they're beautiful
People kill themselves because they're ugly.

"maybe this life wasnt meant for me. I don't think I would of lasted much longer anyways"
That's what you wrote.

Sincerely, channie