Space Age Love Song

Part Three: I am Finally Seeing Why I was the One Worth Leaving

I was making brownies for Hin when someone knocked on our apartment door. "Hin, could you get that?" I called. I saw him stand from the living room couch he was in, where he was reading his book, and heard when he opened the door. There was no clear view of it from the kitchen, but since I heard it close, I called again, "Hin, who was it?" I was busy whisking the brownie mixture that I didn't notice Gun walking towards me. I looked up and smiled when I saw him.

"My pet!" I exclaimed. The last time I saw Gun was almost six months ago. I was truly excited to see him again. But it felt like the feeling wasn't mutual. Over the last months we hadn't seen each other, he got a little thinner. But it wasn't the weight loss that made his face look grim that morning in our apartment kitchen. I dropped the bowl on the counter, wiped my hands on the pink apron Hin got me, and walked to Gun who was standing by the dining table. I hugged him and said, "Buddy, I missed you!" But he didn't hug me back.

I looked at him and asked, "What's up? Long time no see!" He sighed and replied, "You call him Hin?" He said this in a low, but pointed voice. I was glad Hin wasn't around to hear it. He was probably back in the living room, with the book he was reading. I didn't say anything. Instead, I went back to the counter and prepared my mixture.

Gun pulled a chair from the dining table and sat on it in front of the counter, opposite me. He kept on catching my look, but I was intent on staring at the mixture that seemed to be over-whisked already. "Tay," he called, his voice softer now. "How long are you going to play house with him?" I dropped the bowl I was holding and the clang it made was loud enough to attract Hin from the living room. Fortunately, it didn't break. "Te, everything okay?" Hin said cautiously as he looked at me, at Gun, and back at me again. I forced a smile and said, "Yes, Hin. Gun and I were just having a private chat." Hin lingered and finally went back to the other room.

"And he even calls you that nickname," Gun commented. "Tay, you should stop this."

"Why are you here?" I snapped. He didn't flinch at all. He probably expected that we'd come to this. "Haven't you and your boyfriend cut me off from your life? Haven't I stopped being your friend?"

"That's unfair, Tay. You were the one who told Off to leave you alone."

"And nobody even bothered to check up on me?"

"I did, didn't I?!"

"Yeah, in the first month or so. Then you stopped messaging me. Did your boyfriend tell you to do that?"

"Tay. We're just concerned."

I hate it when Gun's voice softened to this seemingly concerned, but condescending tone. He even looked at me pitifully. Gun and Hin were best friends, alright. They had that same look. I remembered that doleful eyes filled with pity when he was leaving for Italy.

"Tay," Gun started again after a long silence came between us. "I talked to New and he said he's willing to talk to you about this. I told him the situation and—"

"You what?!" I shouted.

"This is for your own good. You're becoming too obsessed with this guy."

This time, the bowl got broken when I threw it to the floor in rage. I heard Hin ran towards the kitchen, but before he could speak, I cut him off. "Hin, please!" I yelled. "Gun and I are having a private conversation. Leave us alone."

"But, Te—"

"New!" My voice was louder than I wanted it to be and that startled him. He left the kitchen with his head down.

I picked up the shards on the floor and threw it loudly on the kitchen sink. The brownie mixture was sticking all over the place, but I left it there for now.