Space Age Love Song

Part Five: And We Become Silhouettes When Our Bodies Finally Go

It had been a year since Parallel New—my Hin—came to my life. Gun hadn't been in touch after the last time we talked. He probably thought I was already a lost cause.

Every morning when I woke up next to Hin, I'd have that sudden feeling of nostalgia. A part of me would think that he hadn't left for Italy and that he chose me, not that other guy. But then reality would slowly creep back in and I'd realize that this was a whole different person. After so many months together, I still couldn't fully convince myself that they're not the same. And maybe that's okay. The things that bothered this universe's New didn't bother parallel Hin. He didn't get mad at me when I didn't fix the bed. He didn't scold me when I was too picky with the foods we ate. He just laughed when I got too clumsy and dropped something. Our life together was good until a knock on the door disrupted everything.

I was preparing lunch for the two of us. Hin was sitting on the kitchen table with my iPad, watching a series. He still had a bit of trouble comprehending spoken words, especially laced with a different accent, but the subtitles helped. STACY transcribed this universe's letters to Gaia's own symbols. He was so intent on watching Breaking Bad that he didn't hear the knock on the door. I had to call him twice to get it because I got my hands full.

I was worried when he didn't come back to the kitchen after answering the door. I set the stove on low-heat, wiped my hands on my apron, and went to the other room. I was shocked when I saw two News on my living room.

"Hi, Tay. I love what you've done with the place," he said. New was standing there in his casual business attire with his leather messenger bag and nonchalance. He seemed to look at everywhere other than his doppelganger who was standing in front of him, staring at him intently.

How many times had I dreamed and fantasized for this to happen? For New to leave Italy and come back here in our smaller, less fancier, but much cozier home. In every version, what I did is pull him in my arms and hugged him so tight he couldn't break free. But now that it actually happened, I was frozen on my tracks. New walked towards me and gave me a hug. It was different from the embraces he had given me before. I didn't hug him back. He released me, but his hands were still on my upper arms, rubbing it. I still couldn't believe that this was actually him. He smiled at me and said, "Let's talk."

Parallel New made coffee and served it to us in the living room. After that, he locked himself inside the bedroom. New took a sip from his cup and put it down. "You know in Italy, I got used to really dark coffee, ones that are so much stronger than barako. And every coffee in comparison became so much sweeter." He paused and added as if not to be offensive, "But this is a nice cup." I didn't move. I just stared at the dark liquid on the table. When I talked, my voice came cold. "Why are you here?"

"Officially or unofficially?" he said with a chuckle. He had changed. Something in Italy changed him from a sweet, timid guy to a much confident, brazen one. He now had this air of condescension that I couldn't stand. He was no longer the Hin I knew and loved.

I didn't reply, but he gave his answers anyway. "Officially, I'm here to talk to a hotshot Filipino executive, but I wouldn't bore you with the details. Let's just say that my boss trusted me enough to do the talking." He paused, probably expecting an exclamation of awe from me, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. When he spoke again, his voice became so much softer, like how he used to talk to me during my bad days. "Unofficially, I'm here to see you."

And there it was. It's cruel how you mend yourself when you thought you had become irreparable from the pain a person caused you and built yourself again only for it to come crashing down when that same person so nonchalantly waltzed back in. All the years I spent forgetting him and forgiving myself for my shortcomings to our relationship were now gone. The progress I had was now insignificant. It's so brutal for him to come back here unannounced and watch me crumble again. I could feel the tears behind my eyes and the lump on my throat growing, making it harder to breathe.