Pokémon: Lost in the Moment

Chapter 4 - What's Next?

I spent a while afterwards continuing to stare off into the distance, prior to calling out my Staraptor once more. I took the time to fully heal her up of all her wounds and/or scratches she may have suffered in the battle with Dawn, even if it was just one move she took. Upon doing so, I kindly request that she'd fly me all the way over to Twinleaf Town, which is where I grew up and left to start my Pokémon journey.

This time, the flight was a little more sombre. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying my time with Staraptor up in the skies of Sinnoh again, but it was more like something had changed between us. Pokémon are really good at reading your own feelings, even if you, yourself, can't tell what you're feeling sometimes, so obviously Staraptor was being respectful of how I was feeling, despite me not really making it obvious, or just being clear to all of my Pokémon about how I was feeling, which... Was something I always struggled with, come my later years of being a trainer.

Who knows how much time passed while we were up there, but after a while, we arrived in Twinleaf Town, with Staraptor landing perfectly in front of my mother's house. For this, I thanked Staraptor once more, giving her a small hug, before returning her to her Pokeball, and then hesitating before I knocked on the door to be let in. No less than a few seconds later, the door slowly pulled open, and I was greeted by my mother standing in the doorway, who promptly covered her mouth in a mix of excitement and sadness, having not seen me in person for so many years. She then opened her arms and ran out to hug, to which I happily accepted and hugged her closely for what felt like years.

In what was actually just a couple of minutes later, she pulled away and promptly invited inside, in which I showed her an appreciative, gleeful smile and gladly obliged. When I entered the house, I was hit with a wave of nostalgia - being away for so long from a place you once cherished and still cherish will do that to you. Everything was just like how I remembered it looking, but the place I was most excited to see was my old bedroom upstairs. I asked my mother if it was okay and she was more than happy for me to do so.

As I walked up the stairs and got the first sight of my old room, I felt a wave of emotions come over. She really left it as how it was when I was last here. The dedication was... astonishing. Not a single thing wasn't in its right place/where it was. The old Nintendo Wii was still plugged into the old CRT T-V that was still there, the little-rectangular yellow carpet with pink borders was still present, though in immaculate condition, my bed was still off in the right-hand corner, still facing the wall, and the laptop I got one year for my birthday was still. Curious, I went over to check if it still worked, and sure enough, it did. It was old, of course, so compared to the ones of today, I couldn't do much with it, but what I could do was open a note that my father left for me, not too long before his passing.

For old time's sake, I took another look at it, and it said exactly what it did on the day he gave it to me: "Happy birthday, son! Learn how to use this ahead of time so you can be ready for when you go out on your journey!" It brought a small smile to face, reading it, but then I noticed something - an unread message. Confused but also curious, I checked it out. It was another message from my father, dated back to 2010 but this time, it read: "I don't have long left, son, but just know that I love you and your mother dearly. I wish you all the best on your upcoming Pokémon journey, so do me proud and go on to win that championship - I believe in you! - Love, your old man."

After reading that, I got a little teary-eyed. I never got to say goodbye to my dad, but my mother always told me how he was an outstanding person and how he would do absolutely anything for us. I was still young back then, so I wasn't likely to understand what it meant to no longer have him anyway. All I knew at the time was that he left home one day and never came back. It was until years later that I found out about his passing, and that was when I was journeying around the Hoenn region.

At the time, I'm not sure what I was more upset about; the fact that I never got to say goodbye or that I, in a way, disappointed him by falling out of love with being a trainer. Unsure of what to think, I wiped my eyes and headed back downstairs where my mother was waiting in the living room area - the house is a really small one, only having two main rooms, so other areas, like the kitchen and such, had to be split into areas. She was lightly sipping one of the cups of coffee she had made for the both of us, when she patted the spot next to her for me to come and sit down, to which I soon did.

When I sat next to her, I placed all six of my team's Pokeballs on the little table in front us, and then my mom leant her head on my shoulder, saying how great it was to have me back. Seeing my mom happy made me happy too, but only for a brief few moments. I didn't want to let my feelings get in the way of these nice few moments we were having after so long, so for them to just ruin it like that, I felt like dirt. I didn't want to interrupt her because she was going on about how much she missed me and how proud of me she was, but her saying that just made things worse, however, it was by no means her fault.

There was a very brief moment of silence after she was finished talking, so I decided to speak up, and I told her about how everything had been for me the past few years. I tried skirting around the whole "feeling lost" thing, but it was an inevitability that I would have to address it, really, and when I started going into detail, she quickly sat up again and just looked at me with... a look that could only be described as pure sadness. Noticing when I looked over, I swiftly apologised to her, but she was quick to stop me and reassure me that none of it was my fault, despite how much I felt like it was.

My mother ended up consoling me for the next half-hour or so, saying how I meant a lot to her and in no way have I disappointed her. She encouraged me to go on, feeling that me talking about it all would help somewhat, so I did just that. I told her how I just don't enjoy battling anymore, how I've never even thought of an alternative before, and how I was only doing it up to this point because I didn't want to disappoint those around me. My mother then spoke up, saying: "Oh, sweetheart, you wouldn't have been disappointing anybody. What you do in life should be up to you and you alone, not anybody else. You didn't have to pursue this if you really didn't want to. I realise knowing that isn't too good now, but I feel like you should just know that. Listen, you've done so much over the years. You've conquered the Leagues of every region, you've done what your father believed you could - You've always been far from a disappointment."

Hearing that, I give a mother a thank-you hug, not only for consoling me but for supporting and for believing in me for all the years. A few seconds after, I slot my Pokeballs on to my belt's holders and then get up to head back outside, saying to my mom that I had something I needed to do, to which she ran and gave me one more hug and wished me the best of luck with whatever it was that I was going to do. And so, when I stepped outside, let out all my Pokémon from their Pokeballs once more and informed them on how we were setting out for Celestic Town, which was the place Cynthia's grandparents used to live with her, so I could only assume she'd be there, if anywhere.

It would've been a much shorter journey if I just had Staraptor fly me there, but I wanted to spend time with all six of my Pokémon again, just like how I would've back in the day. And although it was a long journey, one that led into the dead of night, it was worth it, if just for the fact I got to spend valuable time with the team that started it all for me. We ventured past the former Professor Rowan's -now Barry's- lab into Sandgem Town, through the hustling Jubilife City, through the still ever-so beautiful Floaroma Town, through the mystical and mysterious Eterna Forest, and through the old-timey Eterna City, until we got to the cave that connected two halves of Route 211 that also led to Celestic Town.

Upon making it through, I returned all of my Pokémon to their Pokeballs in order to give them some well-deserved rest and continued the journey by myself, finally making it into Celestic Town. My first thought was to check out the large house that was situated in the upper-middle of the town, as I had vague memories of Cynthia's grandparents living there, so I went to check it out. As I approached the house, I saw a sign next to the door, reading: "Residency of Cynthia, former champion and current representative of the League." Considering how quickly everything happened, I guess she didn't have time to change the sign, but I wasn't there to make observations like that, I was there for a different reason.