You said I'd be Okay

•Chapter Four•

Tobias
I woke up to the sound of a door slamming. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I turned and hissed in pain. I want it to stop hurting already. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. Shit! I'm going to be late to school. I sprung out of bed, ignoring the pain and grabbed whatever was decent to wear. I quickly threw my phone and charger in before putting on my shoes. I grabbed my notebook and stashed it in my jacket pocket before starting my run to school.

This hurts so much. The pain from last night is horrible. Then being forced to run to school because I obviously didn't think about setting the alarm. Way to go dingus. I sighed as I neared school. I quickly ran up the few stairs and made it in before they closed the doors.

I stopped and caught my breath. It's not good getting up late when you have to walk to school everyday. I hate being so close to the school.

I started heading down to class. I got in and sighed. Made it before the bell. That's always a good thing.

••••••

I walked down the usual busy halls of the school like any other day. But this time the hall seemed to get longer with every step I took. The feeling that everyone is watching me grew. It's like they knew what happened. Oh no. Did someone hear and they are judging me because they think I'm gay or something.

I lost my concentration and bumped into Zak. The most popular boy in school. Great. Way to go me.

"I'm so sorry!" I said as I started picking up my things quickly.

I ran after I grabbed all my things.

"You forgot something!" yelled Zak or I think he yelled that. I don't know.

I ran to the bathroom and just collapsed. What is wrong with me? Knock it off. Of course nobody heard what happened. I slapped myself and took a deep breath. I'm just over reacting. Everything will be okay. I headed to my last period class before fixing my things and putting them away in my book bag. I sighed as I finished putting everything away neatly.

I reached into my jacket pocket and froze. It's gone. My sacred notebook is gone. I started panicking. Where did I lose it? No. Who could've grabbed it? Oh my god. I started crying right in class. I put my head down and let everything out without making a sound.

Why did I let the paranoia get the best of me? Why? Just fucking why? I left class once the bell rang. I went back to where I bumped into Zak and it wasn't there. Please tell me he doesn't have it. He knows people who could destroy me.

I ran straight to the coffee shop. I need to speak with Liam. He knows how to calm me down. I walked in and looked for Liam. I walked up to him and grabbed his wrist once I found him.

"I-I need to speak with you. It's kinda urgent." I said trying not to break down.

"Okay darling. Let me call in someone to take over for me for a bit." said Liam pulling out his phone.

I went to my normal table and laid my head down. My life is over. I just know it.

I lifted my head when Liam sat down across of me and placed a drink in front of me.

"Now what happened. Do I have to get my hands messy." he said.

I shook my head no and told him all that happened about my book. I couldn't bring up what happened last night. I can't worry Liam that much.

"Oh Tobes. I'm sure it'll come around soon. Maybe a teacher found it." he said.

"You don't get it Liam! That notebook has my deepest darkest secrets. I don't want anyone reading it and then finding out it's me and blackmail me. Or try to get help but it'll disappear because Jim gets away with everything. Oh no." I said.

"Oh no what and who is this Jim guy?" he asks.

I look away and bite my lip. How am I supposed to lie my way out of this one? Shit shit shit.

"He's an old bully who came back that's all." I said.

He gave me a look and I tried to play it off with a smile. He obviously saw right through it because the next time I knew he slammed his hands on the table. You can feel his rage in the air. It's strong and powerful. I dug this hole myself. No way I'm able to get myself out now.

"Tobias. Who the hell is Jim?!" he yelled.

I looked away and started playing with my thumbs. Then as if on cue Jim walked over after entering. I assume he heard Liam yell his name. I put my hood up and laid my head down.

"Why I'm Jim sir. I've been taking great care of Toby when his mother is out of town." he said, sitting next to me.

I scooted over as much as possible in the booth. Yet he only got closer. I paid no attention when they started talking. Liam won't believe me anymore after today. I jumped when I felt something touch my thigh. I looked and it was Jim's hand. I started shaking. He wouldn't dare do anything in public like this.

He moved his hand across my thigh to reach my inner thigh. I started hyperventilating. I grabbed my hair and kept my head low. Maybe he wants me to cause a scene. I won't do what he wants me to do.

After awhile he removed his hand and I calmed down. I finished my drink and pulled my hood down. Liam should know better and know that I was uncomfortable. It's rare for me to put my hood up and lay my head down in this place.

"Well I should be heading off now. Don't want to be late for work." said Jim, patting my thigh and giving it a tight squeeze.

I tensed up and sighed as he let go and left. I looked at Liam and he gave me a disappointing look. Shit.

"You know lying isn't right. Especially when it's with me. You should be ashamed of yourself." said Liam getting up to leave.

He doesn't understand. He mustn't know the truth either. I looked away and teared up. My only best friend won't believe a word I say anymore about the Jim situation. He'll think I will always lie.

I got up and hugged him as he needed to work now. I left after the hug and walked to the park. This is my only escape now. I walked around and admired everything around me. The ducks playing in the water was amusing. I sat down and smiled at how happy they were.

Why can't I be that happy? Why can't I live a normal life? Why can't my life be on my side? Why can't anything go my way? Why did everything go to hell three months ago? Why damn it?! Why?!

I started crying as I punched the ground. I looked up into the sky and sighed. The only way things will go right is if I just end it all. I only waste their time. I only hurt people I love. Liam thinks I'm a lier now. How am I supposed to tell him the truth. I'm sorry Liam. It's time I break a promise I made to you when I first met you.