The Upside To An Upside Down Summer

One good day

One month later...

...

The car ride home was silent, but the tension in the air was unrelenting. Looking out the window, the rain was pouring in streams down the window. The daylight slowly fading gray.

One good day. I just need.. One good day.

Class had just let out, he is waiting in the parking lot for our routinely drive home. 5 pm was the time that was decided. We decided to stop at a restaurant nearby. Our commutes have been something I once looked forward too. Time spent together, just me and him. It was my love language, now these routines have become a dreary routine for me. Todays stop was an irregular occurrence. We normally don't do anything costly special, including restaurants. This isn't an issue for me, we simply are broke university students trying our best with paying off student loans and car insurance. We stick to routine. Nothing special. Nothing out of the ordinary. Simple. Straight to the point. This was unusual, and there is a ich in me wanting to know why. 

Sitting at the table ordering, we started having a good time in each other's company. Talking about how our days went. What we were planning on doing tonight. Then suddenly the table buzzed, his eye contact went from glazing at me to a hateful glare at my phone. A ting of fear eclipse my vision, as I drafted my eyes on my phone. 

One new message from "love bug" I smiled knowing it was from my sister whose nickname is 'bugs'. The rest of dinner was sitting in silence, not for long though. I could tell by the body language he needed to say something. But not here, not in public. Dinner went by fast, too fast. After paying using what's left of my last paycheque, we headed for the car. As soon as the restaurant door closed the spiteful words followed "who texted you?" he said in a heated tone. I quickly glanced back at him and saw the daggers he shot at me. I turned my head and proceeded to the passenger car door, thinking about how can I approach and remedy this situation. A shiver eclipsed my body. 

"It was my sister, I don't know what she said yet" I replied in a quiet tone

Getting into the car the air was freezing, but his words were colder. "you're lying, your talking to someone else, you slut" he spat out. I stared at my shoes hiding my face behind the curtain of my thick brown hair. I glanced to see his hands clenching the steering wheel. What do I do? What do I do? I began playing with my shaky hands knowing it was a matter of time before he was going to speak again. "well? who was it?" he asked again.

"I told you, it was my sister" I spat back.

Hearing him sigh " let me see then" he spoke up again. Why? I thought to myself, why can't I ever have privacy on my phone? why can't he trust me? I've been nothing but faithful, he knows that. Deep down, he knows. He isolated me away from all my friends, especially my male friends. I let out a tear as I pulled out my phone, handing it to him in shameful silence.

...

Alarms blaring in my ears as I opened my eyes to the same old grey ceiling, it has been about a month since I ended things with him. Last day of the semester, the first day of summer. A soft knock echoed through the room, getting out of bed the cool air had sent a shiver down my spine. I had already began missing the comfort of my bed. Making my way towards the door I feel the cracks of the bones in my toes, I shouldn't have stayed in bed for so long. I've been doing that a lot lately. Reaching for the handle I turned it open just enough to see the person behind it.

There Smiling brightly was my friend, Sierra, in her hands was a steaming cup of coffee and a muffin. "Good morning" She chirps as she hands me the items.

"Morning" I grumbled as she slips past me and headed for the shades, opening them widely. The light hitting my eyes blindly. After a few seconds of recovery, she says carefully

"You know, you can't always hold yourself up in this room. That's all I've seen you do these past few days, you got to get out and continue on with your life. One relationship won't define you, you did nothing wrong, he was the jerk" she said in a serious tone. Maybe she is right, that's all I've been doing since the breakup, frankly, I don't even know why I'm hiding away, I should be happy that its over, but why aren't I? Seeing the one-sided conversation I'm holding with my self in my head, Sierra walks over and gives me a much-needed hug. "you know" she proceeds and sighs, "I've been thinking, since the school year is over and summer is beginning today. I was thinking maybe we could go on a trip?" She carefully asks. "You know, I've been planning this since before the breakup, but I haven't found the right time to approach you with it" she pauses before speaking again. "its actually a road trip, ending with a hike" she ended waiting for a response. Maybe this is what I need, surely it would help me through this phase I'm in, what's the harm right? Besides if I don't go, I will regret not going and spending my summer in this dark room.

"Count me in" I smiled for the first time in what seemed like a very long while.