Sea's lover

In the middle of the dark

It is a dark night with no stars in the sky. I am not home alone, but I feel I am lonely in this world, even if I am scared like hell.
I am only 10 years old but I wish desperately to grow up , to become an adult, to run away from this life. I am an unhappy child and I even didn't realize that other children are happy. They had a family full of love and laughter and I didn't know what means happy or love. These words were not familiar. Of course, I read about them in stories , but I never experienced it.

Do not imagine that there is any big drama in my family. There are only small dramas every day.
I have to behave like an adult from a young age but I am not taken seriously like an all grown up.
So, here I am, in my room , my only companion is my doll ,and I am imagining a young boy from my school kissing me passionately. This gives me comfort and I imagine one day I marry that guy. Or maybe not exactly that guy but a guy who looks like him.
I imagine making love with him.
In the most of the days I use to imagine that there is another me in the room who tells me stories . Stories that even I didn't know before. My imagination have to work properly to drag me from sadness.

In this night I feel so sad and angry on my parents that I want to read a book. I know I am not allowed to read after 11 p.m but I have to risk and try. Maybe they will not wake up. So here I am, lighting the room and reading. It's such a pleasure to read in the middle of the night and to discover new things.
But after one hour of reading my father comes and yells 'Go to sleep, or I'll make you eat that book' . He turned off the light and slammed the door. I was so scared of him , that I had no choice: I had to abandon myself in my imagination stories. Because I had no sleep.
So, I said to myself that I will grow up and do whatever I want because now I have so many restrictions; I will make love, I will eat ice cream, I will have money to buy everything I like or need.
But this is a plan for long-term.For the moment I can fantasize and imagine other worlds, much pleasant or interesting ones.
After all, my father could leave me in the room in darkness, but he can't stop me from imagining things. Once again, is 3 a.m and I still fantasize about a beautiful princess and her beautiful prince.

At one moment , something dark comes in the room, like a shadow, without a proper shape and it smell like mud. The air in the room is so cold that I freeze. This creature floating in the air put itself on my chest and I can no longer easily breath. I am very scared and I try to scream to call my parents but I have no voice. I also have to run away but my muscles are no longer listening to me. What shall I do? So I try to say in my mind a pray and after 3 seconds I am no longer paralyzed and I can run away from this room.
I go to my parents but they send me back to sleep , even if I am scared like hell.