"Hay nako Bei, tama na kasi. Magmove on kana dun sa tao."
Napatingin ako kay Ponggay, she was already looking at me na parang gusto na niyang agawin sa kamay ko yung phone at ihagis yon sa bintana.
Nakipagtitigan ako sa kanya, internally asking for a little bit of patience and support pa... hanggang sa unti unti ko ng ibinaba yung phone na nakatapat sa tenga ko when I realized that I wouldn't get the support I wanted. I let out a heavy sigh bago inoff yung phone ko.
"Hindi ko maintindihan." I confusingly said while looking at my phone. "Tama naman yung number."
Ponggay suddenly snorted kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "Hindi mo pa ba gets? It only meant one obvious thing, she gave you a nonexistent number and ikaw naman etong si uto uto na agad naniwala."
Para akong sinampal sa mukha sa mga sinabi ni Ponggay at agad akong napatulala sa mga number na nasa screen.
Did she really gave me a nonexistent cellphone number? But impossible yon. I think she's not that kind of person naman na loloko---
"Kung ako sayo, ititigil ko na yang kalokohan na yan."
Agad akong napatingin sa kanya, forehead creased. Kalokohan?
Tumayo si Ponggay sa pagkakaupo. Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na buntonghininga before speaking again. "Stop thinking about a girl too much na isang araw mo lang naman nakasama. Whoever that Jho na yan, please naman kalimutan mo na siya Bea."
That was the last thing she said before leaving me alone sa couch to follow Jules at the kitchen. I was left staring dumbly sa floor, I didn't even realized I was already gripping firmly on my phone.
But how?
A month already passed but... how?
How can I forget a girl who gave me a memory like no other?
I tried. God knows how I tried all the possible ways para macontact at mahanap siya. Numerous messages and calling attemps, even tried searching for her social media accounts, and even tried asking a bunch of people if they knew a girl named Jho. But how can I find a girl na first name lang naman ang alam ko?
Jho. 24. Virtual designer.
That's all.
I don't even know if her name stands for Jhoan or Jhoana or maybe Jojo? Lahat na yata ng possible name na may Jho naisip ko na. Ugh so stupid. Sa tagal ng oras naming nagkasama ni hindi ko man lang naisipan itanong full name niya, or kahit man lang yung company na pinagtatrabahuan niya. Goshhhh.
If I only knew it will end up like this, I shouldn't have stayed. Sana I took all the chances at sinundan ko na siya agad.
Damn. I wouldn't trust things through Universe again. But if I didn't, would things be different?
Tinitigan ko ulit yung number and parang gusto ko na lang umiyak sa mga naghalo halong emotion na nararamdaman ko.
Maybe they are right.
Maybe I'm chasing someone who doesn't want to be chased since from the beginning.
Maybe time na nga siguro para tumigil ako sa kakaasa na I'll be able to see her again, na baka nga it's really the time to stop wishing na madudugtungan pa kung ano man yung nasimulan sa Batanes.
Because I think if there's someone na dapat sisihin sa lahat, ako yon. Kasalanan ko na dala dala ko yung dapat hindi ko naman dala in the first place.
I should've left everything in Batanes.
I let out a heavy sigh, and without second thoughts I finally deleted the number.
