In All Your Forms

"Ho, Shield brother!" Thor greets him as he walks into the kitchen. Steve smiles tiredly at the man and offers him a nod in greeting.

Steve drags himself over the fridge in search of food, his stomach turning hungrily. He was always so starving after nights like last night. Thankfully no one would think anything of it if he is a little hungrier than usual. With how much he has to eat as a super soldier no one would probably be able to tell if he has to eat a little more than he normally would. It would still look like an excessive mountain of food being tossed into one giant garbage disposal, as Clint puts it.

But his extra hunger couldn't be helped. For the past year he had been transforming into a werewolf during the full moons. It all started with some with a raid of a Hydra base. He had thought the guard dogs were just large dogs, maybe somewhat mutated or experimented on. At the back of his mind he had wondered if Hydra had feed the dogs some canine version of the super soldier serum. He didn't think they were werewolves, he didn't even believe in werewolves. He does now though.

Deep down he was hopping that it would cure itself. His immune system, bolstered by the serum, could handle anything, there was nothing it hadn't successfully handled. Except for this it seems. Apparently curing lycanthropy is a hard limit for the serum. It didn't look like he was going to be ride of the damn curse any time soon.

So he had been trying to keep it secret. He knows he should tell the Avengers. But as cowardly as it was, he didn't want to risk losing them. Being a werewolf wasn't exactly a small insignificant thing. He wouldn't fault anyone not wanting to work alone side a werewolf, not when you have to truth that person with your life. If the Avengers knew of his condition all of the trust the team would have in him would vanish, and them someone would end up getting hurt on a mission.

He wishes he was faster, was better that night. That he hadn't gotten so complacent as to allow himself to get bitten by some altered animal. He should have known better.

Steve sighs as takes the bacon and a carton of eggs from the fridge and sets it down on the counter. He sets a pan on the stove and piles in the food.

"Rough night, last?" Thor asks, the man's voice echoing loudly in the space of the kitchen.

Steve laughs awkwardly. "Yeah" he says, shooting Thor what he hopes it a reassuring smile. Anxiously he scratches the back of his neck, and turns back to the stove.

"But hopefully a productive hunt?" Thor says, smiling brightly at him.

Steve freezes. This can't be happening, no one was meant to know. "I don't know w-"

A deeply hurt look crosses Thor's handsome features. "Steven. The others may take me for a fool. I had thought- hopped that you didn't also..."

"No, Thor. I didn't- I mean-..." Steve stammers, unable to get out what he wants to say. Steve takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I don't think you're stupid, Thor. Not at all. I just-"

Thor looks less hurt, but confused now.

There is a moment where none of them say anything. Staring at each other awkwardly in the silence. Steve looks away to his feet, feeling his face heating with embarrassment. When he looks back up at Thor there is understanding in his eyes.

"You are ashamed?" Thor says. It is spoken as a question, but they both already know the answer.

Steve is very ashamed. Who wouldn't be? There was no way about it, he was a monster. A dangerous, feral beast.

"Steven," Thor says, the man stands up from his seat and walks around the kitchen island to stand in front of him. "There is no need to be ashamed. To be of varúlfur nature is an honour. Dark and difficult, aye, but a blessing same." Thor grasps his shoulders comfortingly, smiling softly at him.

Steve feels like his brain has slowed to a trickle. "What?" he chokes out weakly. What was a varúlfur? He doesn't know to feel relieved or offended at the statement. He has no clue what a varúlfur is, and if it was a good thing to be associated with. But maybe it was better than being called a werewolf, some feral monster. "I don't think-... I don't think I understand?" he says.

"A varúlfur. You know, a vargr? Uhhh... wolf-man?"

Oh, so he does know. Steve supposes that

"How-... how did you know?" Steve asks, his hands clenching anxiously at the bottom of his shirt.

"I may be young, being only 1500 years old. But there are things I know and understand." Thor says. "That and there were certain... things... that made it fairly obvious"

"Oh..." Steve breaths out.

"I hadn't known you were keeping a secret." Thor frowns. "I don't think that is particularly wise, my friend."

Steve's heart sinks. "I know" he whispers. He drops his gaze to his feet, ashamed. He closes his eyes against the burning tears.

"Nay, Ástvinur" Thor says softly. The man's large warm hands grab his chin and force him to look up. "Don't do this to yourself" The man's eyes blue eyes are full of pain and concern for him.

Steve tries to look away but the man would not have it. He lets out a frustrated breath and tries to push away Thor's hand. But his strength is not enough against the determined god of thunder.

"Whatever you're thinking of yourself, it's not true."

Steve takes a step back, retreating. "It is though. I'm a monster with little to no control. I can't-" He looks away, his arms wrapping protectively around himself.

Thor steps forwards and pulls him into a warm hug.

In the safety of Thor's arms Steve brakes. He cries into the man's shoulder, burring his face in the thick fabric of his jumper.

"You're not a monster, Ástin" Thor whispers softly, softer then he could ever have expected from the man.

The arms around him, hold him tighter, one hand running through his hair soothingly.

__________________________________________________________

THE END

Translations:
Varúlfur - Wolf, Werewolf
Vargr - Wolf
Ástvinur - Darling, Beloved ("love friend")
Ástin - My Love, My Darling

For the MCU RarePairs Bingo prompt "Secrets" [C1] - Card 2