I'd Never Live » Luke Hemmings

2.2~Relapse

*Trigger warning. Please, don't read if it will bother you!*

Marie's P.o.v.

It's been one whole month. As far as I know, the boys are still here, but none of them could come talk to me.

I look at my calendar that is right next to my bed. November 27. It's been exactly one month. One month since he cheated. One month since I relapsed. I haven't since then, but I fear that I might.

Nobody knows that I have relapsed, but then again, who would care.

Amy has pretty much abandoned me. When the boys came back, she left to go be with Calum. I don't blame her, but it would still be nice to talk to someone. Anyone.

I've moved back to my house. I couldn't deal with being at Luke's. He was everywhere, even when he wasn't.

I decide it's time to get out of bed. I've cried a river already, now all I have to do is build a bridge, and get over it. But the same question always comes back and haunts me.

Do I really want to get over it?

So, I get out of bed, grab clothes, and jump into the shower.

I guess I should have gotten into the shower, because that us where all of my inner demons come out.

You're ugly.
You're fat.
No wonder Luke left you.
You don't deserve to live.
You're just a waste of space.
No one cares.

No matter how hard I tried to push these thoughts away, they always crept back into my mind.

I grabbed my razor, and threw it at the wall, causing it to break. Slowly, I bent down, and picked up the blade that fell out when it broke. Carefully, I stood back up and pressed the cold metal against the skin on my wrist.

In one quick movement, I swept it across my wrist, leaving behind a long blood line.

Immediately after I saw the blood, I dropped the blade and sank to my knees. I told myself that I would never let myself do this again, but I was wrong.

After five minutes of sitting on the floor of the shower, I got up, turned the water off, and got out of the shower.

I quickly got dressed and applied my makeup, whilst listening to Hot Chelle Rae.

Once I finished with my hair and makeup, I decided I needed to go out for coffee.

Quickly, I grabbed my bag, and threw my phone inside of it. I grabbed my car keys, and went outside to my car, and drove away.

I didn't want to go to Starbucks, because the guys usually went there, and I don't want to see them. So, instead, I went to this little café called Jiven Java.

*****
Sorry it's so short. I am in the midst of a writer's block.

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Happy New Year's!

If I made an Ashton fanfic, would any of you read it? Comment if you would. Anyway. I love you! Stay beautiful!