Reflection (Book #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Delilah-"

            "Dionisie! Why haven't you called me? I haven't heard from you in days!" I said louder than I'd intended.

            "Delilah, I'm not good for you. I hurt you. I almost killed you," he said, feigning calmness.

            "What are you talking about?" I shouted into the phone.

            "You know what I'm talking about!" he shouted back. "I'm going to go away. You'd be better off without me. I've done what your parents asked me to do."

            "Stop talking like that! Come over. Talk to me," I begged.

            "I've already left. I'm calling from a payphone."

            "Dion!" I gasped, unable to withhold the tears anymore as I collapsed on my bed. "Please! I love you!"

            "I can't hurt you anymore. All I ever wanted was to love you. I've done worse for you than I ever expected."

            "Dionisie, please don't do this," I whispered. "I can't be without you. What am I supposed to do?"

            "Whatever you want. You're an adult."

            "I thought I finally convinced you. I thought after all this time I finally had you..."

            "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." The phone line went dead and I stared at it.

Did he really just leave me? He couldn't have left me. He couldn't have left me with no way to call him back. He didn't leave me. If he was going to leave, why didn't he let me die? I laid in my bed crying for two days, only getting up to use the restroom. I couldn't sleep and I wasn't hungry. I constantly felt nauseas. One evening, I decided to try his number, in case he'd returned home.

            His recorded voice on the answering machine sent waves of pain through me. "Hello, you've reached Dionisie's phone. I'm not here right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

            "Dion," I grumbled, trying to sound as strong as possible. "If you didn't want me, you should have let me die. This pain is... too much. I can't take it. I need you to come back to me, okay?" I hung up, and curled back up in bed.

            Another day passed and it seemed like I didn't have any more tears but my body still tried to expel the last drops of water it possessed. I groaned and my chest felt someone had reached their hand inside me and was squeezing my heart. It was more painful, even, than losing my parents.

            "Delilah?"

            I sat up, looking at Clare in my doorway.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I don't know what to do," I sobbed. "Dion and I finally had sex, but I got pregnant. And he freaked out. So I had an abortion." I took a deep breath. "And he left me."

"What? Oh, honey! That's a lot to take in!How long have you been laying here crying?"

"For three days," I admitted.

"I can tell! Let's go out tonight. You still have your fake ID don't you?"

I nodded.

"Get up. I'll put some makeup on you and we can get drunk. We'll forget about him."

I stared in the mirror at my blue eyes, rimmed in red from the crying. My light brown hair hung down just past my shoulders. My cheeks were puffy and I was losing weight from not eating. I already looked skinnier. My cheekbones were more visible and my skin looked somehow darker.

I followed Clare through the club as she raised her arms, enjoying herself. I secretly hoped that Dion would appear, but he wasn't the type to be in a club. I still couldn't believe he had really left. Clare pulled me to a table in the corner of the bar. "You sit here," she shouted, over the electronic music. "I'm going to get us something to drink."

She came back with a bartender who was carrying a bottle and two small glasses. "Can I get you anything else?" he asked with a smile as he poured two glasses of whatever liquor she had selected.

"No, thank you. That will be all," she said. "Liles, it's your birthday."

"Is it?" I asked, deadpan.

"Your birthday is September 23rd, isn't it?"
I nodded. "It is today. Hmm."

She lifted her glass and put the other in my hand. "Drink."

"I just called to tell you to go fuck yourself," I shouted to Dion's answering machine. "I love you and you left me. You're an asshole! That's fine! I can kill myself just fine without your help."

I dialed again, telling myself it was just to hear his voice, until I heard the beep and started shouting. "It's my birthday! I know you know that! I can't believe you didn't even call." I started crying, unable to hold back. "You really left. You would have called. I hate you!"

"Please come back," I begged in my third message.

I was calling for the fourth time when I realized it had only rang twice and his system hadn't picked up. I could hear his breathing. "Dion? You're home?" I whispered. I was more sober than I had ever been.

"You have to stop calling me. This is for your own good." He hung up, and I laid back in bed.

His voice had sounded rough. He had given an order. In my years living with him I had learned that when he gave orders, they were to be obeyed without hesitation. He had always been quite bossy, but my safety was his most prominent concern. He had been more hurt by the abortion than I had. Maybe that's the problem.

The phone rang once when I dialed back, but then a shrill beeping came across the line. It's busy? Who is he on the phone with?

I dialed the only other number I could think of.

He picked up immediately. "Delilah."

"Kyle, are you allowed to talk to me?"

"Dionisie doesn't control me. He doesn't allow me or not allow me to do things. What do you need?"

"Can you come over?"

"Are you drunk?" He questioned.

"I was, but Dion picked up the phone after three messages and I think he unplugged his phone after that."

"I'll be right over."