Heartbeat || KookV

Chapter 3

Out Loud

I still taste your presence
Once sweet but it turned sour
Tried to shake your indifference
But it's too late now
I hear you in the quiet
I see you when I'm in the dark
You just couldn't fight for this
But it's not your fault
Say what you mean out loud
Drowning in silence when I'm lost in the crowd
'Cause every sweet thing you'd never speak
It's deafening, never knowin' what could be
Wish I could show you how
But you're just a ghost now

"I'm so sorry sir" a man with glasses, in a white coat with white gloves stood there, in front of Hoseok telling him that his Smurf, the one he loved to the core was no more. "We really tried our best." he continued "But it just wasn't in our hands I guess"

Hoseok just stood there blankly, how can this man who doesn't even realize the bond the listener and the person he just declared dead shared. Is it an everyday thing for him? To declare hundreds of people dead? Does he not feel at all?

"W-What do you mean?" Hoseok shook his head in denial, refusing to believe the doctor ; his hair damped in sweat because of the stress even though the place was well conditioned. "M-My
J-iminie? He can't leave" The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face.

"We really did try our best sir but he had lost too much blood on the site and" he sighed "he was almost gone by the time he was taken into the ER"

"No No" Hoseok waved his hands in denial "You must be mistaken" he wiped his tears "That must be someone else. There's no way-"

"Mr. Hoseok" he rested his palm on Hoseok's shoulder "I understand it's difficult to grasp but please. Pull yourself together"

"No" Hoseok jerked his hand away "You don't understand. You do this everyday you can never understand" the feel the muscles of his chin trembled like a small child.

"You can take the body home with you after an hour" the doctor bowed and left.

Hoseok turned to the room, it was labelled as 67. Never in his life he would've thought that there would be a time when he'll be separated by his Smurf's lifeless body by a door. He walked towards the door, heart as heavy as his eyelids due to the moisture accumulated in them. He turned the knob only to find Jimin, laying there, countless stitches on his body. A white cloth covered him as if symbolizing that he had officially lost. Hoseok walked to him "S-Smurf?" he extended his arm to caress the younger's cheek. It wasn't as soft now. "W-Wake up smurf" he sniffled "I'll always call you smurf now if you wake up" he sounded like a distressed child, raw from the inside.

He sobbed unceasingly, hands clutching at the white apron Jimin was put into after the surgery. Hoseok held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked the younger's hair. A tiny lapse let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before he collapsed again, his howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of his grief.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Hoseok looked toward the window, as if the light could soothe him. There is static in his head once more, the side effect of this constant feeling. It took something out of him he didn't know he had left to give. That's the way it is when loved ones leave. It's like a theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see.  It's been 20 minutes since Jimin had gone and the pain was fresh. Hoseok would burst a sob every after two minutes of convincing himself that Jimin wasn't coming back. He was trapped in the memories of his younger brother which was ceased by a knock on the door.